I am 31 now and I started meth when I was 15, the first time i tried meth was with someone who I Thought was helping me out, I was in an abusive relationship, moved out of my home when I was 14 years old due to bad situations at home, just to move to worse situations on my own. called learned behavior, so when I met meth I was a shy, nieve, weak, passive person, not knowing this then just thought i was shy and nice lol, years later i learn different, but so when i met meth it brought apart of me out I didnt know i had so i thought, I went from passive straight to aggresive , it helped me talk it helped me be outspoken, but it helped me become a person i was not proud to be, a mom i didnt want to be ,I struggled with not making poor choices in my life the more i felt like a failure the more i turned to meth and self-distruct this is what i've struggled with for alomst 16 years now leanring alot of self awarness, and an understandig of myself and why I do what I do and how to change it and I am on that road to that recovery now, but it has been a long long hard road, and I only made it hard on myself fighting with using and not using, so many feelings are rapped up in my addiction so many and I can Identify them all, but i learned that's what i used as an excuse or cope-out, for my justifying my use, now i know what triggers me, and now i've been clean for 5 months and now that i know what makes me run I am dealing with that day by day, knowing and accepting that there are going to be bad days, struggles,and hard times, and good ones, its all on how i choose to deal with it and now learning a good healty way, I no longer want to run..........i'm dealing with life on it's terms and mine....i'm no longer scared....
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