Okay, so im new to this please bare with me here. I am close to 7 months clean from a meth addiction. The week I got clean I met my current boyfreind. He is a recovering addict from opiats. I have 3 kids already before I met him, and we fell in love way to fast with eachother. He is a good man, works a great job, makes great money, he has recovered nice from his addiction. He went through something called the Methadone clinic (sp?) and remained clean 8 months. BUT now i find out after months of him turning mean and vicious and hurting me and my kids emotionally he has been using again. I just found out a few days ago, and things have been bad for months. When I found out he blamed it on me, saying I caused it when something happened a few months ago ( i cheated on him, i know it was bad but i thought we grew together from it and worked through it). It hurt me so bad I just wanted to die. I actually really wanted to die enough that I tried to bring myself into the clinic in our town and get admitted before I went to far. BUT i didnt go because he said he could make it better. Then last night I find out he was using way before that happened. I dont know what to do. I cant understand why he would hurt me like this and blame me for something he did? I want to leave him, but being an addict myself im scared he will continue to use, or even kill himself if i leave. I just need advice or kind words or anything . What would you do? Is it wrong of me to be so angry? When will the hurt go away? I dont know who else to talk to, i dont have anyone here to talk to. I feel alone and im scared and I just want to wake up and realize its all a bad dream. When I read what I wrote it doesnt sound as bad as it really is. There is alot more to it and he really hurt me.
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