First of all, giant hugs to you. I'm so sorry that you have been caught in the addiction for so many years. The meth addict only thinks of their addiction. Has she talked about continuing to seek treatment? I honestly believe that treatment has to be for at least 1 year, in patient rehab. When someone is clean from meth for 9 months, they feel they have beat the addiction, but in reality it's still there calling them. Have you read the post,"you can't make me clean"? You must seek your own recovery in dealing with this. You have to decide how much more you can take. Are you willing to put yourself through more? Only you can answer that. If she says she will be left on the streets if you leave, is she on the streets now? Are there children involved? Meth is the most powerful drug on our streets and I truly believe that the treatment facilities are not educated enough to fully help the meth addict. They are working on improving this. I am not a meth addict, I am not a recovering addict, I am the mother of Austin.Austin battled drug addiction for 10 years, the last 6 being crystal meth. Austin was in and out of programs, nothing was more powerful then meth. It had it's complete control on him.Meth won. My son was 22 when he took his life last August before being apprehended in a car jacking.
Please visit his memorial website, share it with others. May Austin's story give you and others the strength to understand and help fight the addiction.
www.austin-hesse.last-memories.com
Another great website for you to visit is www.kci.org
There are alot of great people that will also give you support. Have you attended Alanon or Narcanon meetings? This will help in your recovery.
I will pray for you and your wife and I'm hear if you want to talk.
Blessings.
Jill

I am so sorry you are having to cope with the worst drug out there. I am an addict. 1 month clean. She has to sincerely want to quit, she has to have the strongest of support groups. And then even, it doesnt always work. I will be praying for you.

jmarie,

How much more can I take. I am in a lose - lose situation. I cannot be happy either way.

I believe she truely wants help. We cannot get out of this destructive cycle. I believe that there is hope, if only we could get the help we need. I do not trust the system anymore. I thought by pressing charges against her for assault, then breaking the no contact order would help, the system failed, it has only made the situation worse.

I took her to local metal health to help with her addiction, they went right past the addiction and started treating her for bi-polar disorder and drugged her up with meds.

What do you do for 2 people who are desperate for help who do not have the resources for 1 year in-patient. We are broke, I can barely function and live my own life, she has some legal troubles.

I am lost. I cannot give up, I have no clue how to get on with my life. I feel that I have abandoned someone who desperately needs my help, who cries for help. But I have turned my back.

jmarie,

Yes, I did read 'You can't make me clean'.

We know this. What do you do when you want to stay clean, but due to cycles that we cannot seem to control hinder, or stop progress?

Also, I do find it hard to fully accept that. I beleive that they cannot get it done alone, and need help and support.

My heart is breaking for you. I know first hand about how the system sucks. There are programs out there for no insurance, no money, etc. if you're willing to put the work into searching for them. Maybe I can help you out with that.
What City and State do you live in?
I'll try to help. Is she currently living with her meth friend? Does she want to seek treatment? That is the first step because without her involved in her recovery, there is no recovery. You need to work on you as well.
Let me know and you can send me a private message.
Hugs
Jill

Dear Stile I can only imagine what you are going thru and there is no ? about it you are worthy to have happiness and the courage you display is inspiration to the many ones going thru the samething the solution lies whithin her making the decision to get proffesional help she has got to completely detox off of all drugs in order for her to be medicated for her disorders w/ bipolar which verywell may be the longterm results of meth use , iwas married to a lady w/bipolar disorder but the bipolar actions always went away as long as i brought the drugs around .so it was really not the so called bipolar that brought on the moodswings and deppresion it was her wanting to allways be wired and me feeding the lion things had to change and it would take the both of us working in tandam.we decided to do everything together even if it meant loading the kids up just to go get milk at the convienance store. cope w/ the temptations and the triggers together identify them and put them under the rug.but people places and things are vital in ones recovery its one thing to ask her to please stay away from so in so or please dont go around those places and dont do them things that causes the madness i know you have to work and leave her vunurable at periods of time but my wishes are that you have a good friend or family member thats willing to help you and her thru these crisis until she can pull through.There is a common element that lies whithin a person once they have stopped the drug meth ect. its called a void and that means the drugs filled in when there was despare,deppresion and no selfworth and we as persons must fill that void w/ something that can cover that void lots of people fill that void w/ another drug so the problem remains so it takes planning to fill that void w/ camping ,bungy jumping bingo casinos surfing hicking adventure roller coaster something that elevates the heart a little you know togethness in what we do as husband and wife excitement produce endorphines which produces dopeamine thats natural and makes one fill good ,now my concerns are this with my past experiance the dealers where latinos and they have access to lots of meth cocaine and herion now the dealer is cunning and devises away to really hook the buyer so lots of the hispanic population will lace the meth w/ herion in which there is a very aggresive intence physical addiction that needs a long term in house recovery program and like jmarie said there is gov funded programs that are effective and will keep her monitored until she is completely rid of that poison and then she has got to decide to continue an outpatient program and work the steps your prescence alongw/ her through these meetings wil do 2 things it will aid in her positive recovery and it will show her just how much you love her and whats best for yalls recovery.you know you can lead a hourse to water but you cant make em drink,i believe if you presented her w/ that facts about the health issues of a long term meth user then you just might get her attention time has it pace but meth makes it come oh so fast and we all want to live a long life. take jmarie up on helping you find a place for her to get help she knows all the avenues from experiance .man i hope you are ok dont get depressed just hang in there who knows you might prevoke a breaking point for her ...good luck my friend and ill pertition the man about helping yall...thanks for reaching out i hope i helped DERAL

deral

My problem is deeper than that. We are no longer living with one another. She is in a meth narcosis. She is so unstable that I have had to remove myself and stop protecting her.
She is out living with, and sleeping with, another meth addict.

She continues to contact me and it is just tearing me up.

I have been the enabler for 10 years. Everytime she hits rock bottom, and that always seems to be one notch below the last rock bottom, she gets help for one reason. To continue the game and keep me in her life. She is a great con artist. She can even fool the pro's.

I believe I have to stop helping at all. Have no contact at all, be completely out of her life before she will find her rock bottom.

I cannot be her knight in shining armor. I believe she will never find recovery that way.

I have been married to a meth addict for only two years and that has been hell. Like your wife, my husband keeps me in his loop only when he needs something no one else in his world has...like money. It hurts. We don't live together either. He has told me that he will seek out treatment...that's been a year now. He has been going to treatment programs for about half of his life. Started the life of drugs at age 12. And the only thing treatment seems to have accomplished is making him a better manipulator. I spend most of my days just wanting him to stay away...I've had to rebuild my life from ground zero from all the destruction his addiction has caused. I have two children (one is his and is only 2 years old). I guess the biggest descision for me was figuring out why I felt like his "need" was "love". There is a difference and me and the kids deserve so much more. He can lay out all the excuses in the world, but the hurt is still there and he continues to live his life for the drugs. No one matters but him. I encourage you to move on with life...I tell myself that is why the windshield is bigger than the rear view mirror. He is out there somewhere...but he is in the rear view mirror. My life has to move on without him. I choose not to go through this again...I can't. I will always love the man I married...but that is not him any more. I always thought me "helping" him was me being a good wife, being supportive etc. But, when it comes down to it - if I was the addict - he wouldn't have done as much for me as what I've done for him. I have given up everything to keep him out of jail 6 times - all felony charges. This Thursday, he had his sentencing...and he walked right out of the court room. He just wasn't ready to go to prison...so here we go again...not to mention the 2300.00 bond that went right out the window...I was hoping he'd go to jail. He'd be forced to get clean and we could maybe start putting all of this behind us. Now, I guess it's just a matter of time before he gets picked up...it's hard to watch some one you love throw their life away and take his family down with him...all I can do now is just move on without him and if one day he gets clean...maybe we can salvage our relationship but in the meantime...my kids and me are coming first from now on.

You r not the bad guy. She is emotionally black mailing you(i.e don't leave me...) and you played the part as an enabler long enough to see that she chose meth over life itself and everyone in it. Inside, she hates herself.She feels like she has no choice, but her life now consists of a meth "buddy" ( two meth heads r not better than one) and whether she'll ever take accountabitilty for her own actions, doubt it, because meth has become her lifestyle now. If you love her than you will divorce her. When you love somebody, to stand back and watch them hurt themself hurts just as much as watching them become somebody else. Somehow she will make you out to be the bad guy in order to justify her anger for you leaving.
Meth is a selfish drug. So realize your life is worthy of pressing forward with. "Happily ever after" and "once upon a time" are a mockery of words on paper that irony defines. live on. You have seen the ugly face of addiction up close and personal and survived. Keep her and her habits a good distance from your life or you will only prolong the enevitable which is watching spin her wheels on the road of life.

Dear brother Stile this is Deral and someone wrote an entry to me in reverance to your Desperatly Help telling me I should divorce her well Im not married to a dope phene anylonger Im not even married to a non phene so bless this persons heart for not being able to understand how this program works ,the persons DS sir name is either imadumass or helpmydumbass im not exactly sure but they sent me a letter to reply to this post and i cant get to them this morning so maybe you can. now im not sure if they used the "b" in dumb but either way im sure u can locate them and tell them im so sorry they spent such precious time refering to me like i said im single after 3 marriages ....now dont you ladies start ragging on me it takes 2 dope phenes to tangle for them both to be wrong so XXXXXXX Im as friendly as gasper the goast...luv you all DERAL.P.S. Stile if i could take your burdens long enough for you to go camping and gather your thoughts I would with open arms...