Meth Addiction & Recovery Support Group
Methamphetamine is a synthetic stimulant drug used for both medicinal and recreational purposes. Methamphetamine is highly psychologically addictive. Like most stimulants, large doses of methamphetamine can result in a strong feeling of euphoria at the expense of physical fatigue and a strong "come-down" as the drug's effect wears off.
I have been clean for 1.5 years. But in the time that I was using I did some seriously shitty things to myself and to my family. I treated people that loved me like shit, lied, traveled on air planes with drugs. i had been up for four days at my high school graduation, and there was my family smiling and not knowing (I don't know how they could not tell, I looked like a yellow zombie). i also slept with people and wouldn't have if I were sober. The list goes on, I cannot tell all for shame.
Now here I am thinking, "Was that me?" I cannot reconcile my present self with my former self, I've been battling this for while. I still have my mom say things like, "Remember the time you did..(fill in the blank with some shitty immoral thing)". Was I really not myself for those years? I still feel guilty for the people I hurt and hurting myself. I feel like Dr. Jecklyl and Mr. Hyde.
Does anyone deal with this? How do you get over this? Who are we when we use?
Now here I am thinking, "Was that me?" I cannot reconcile my present self with my former self, I've been battling this for while. I still have my mom say things like, "Remember the time you did..(fill in the blank with some shitty immoral thing)". Was I really not myself for those years? I still feel guilty for the people I hurt and hurting myself. I feel like Dr. Jecklyl and Mr. Hyde.
Does anyone deal with this? How do you get over this? Who are we when we use?
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
It depends on where you live, for MethA you need to be living in a large city to find some of those meetings. Try recovery homes they have all sorts of meetings there.
The greatest admends you can make to others and to yourself is to stay clean and sober one day at a time.
It's been four years for me, and eventually the guilt did start to fade away. There was a lot of apologizing, but most imporantly, a lot of being the best person that I can be now, and giving the people I love so much good, that the bad will eventually be a vague memory of the past.