as far as menopause goes, normal is just a setting on the dryer lol. Every woman's experience is different. some women find their sex drive increases, some find it decreases and yes some feel they have no drive at all. Sorry you are going through this already. I am 40 also and although I have not lost the desire I have suffered vaginal dryness for 6 years which made me wish I would have lost the drive since there was nothing in it for me but pain.

I know what you mean with the drive. It's like - hmmm laundry or sex? Laundry! HAHA. But I have visited with my better half and told him it's not him it's me. So when he thinks he needs a little fun to let me know like that morning. That way I have all day to get in the right frame of mind. Seems to be helping at least for now!

jmt68,

I am also experiencing not wanting to have sex. My husband is very frustrated. I am too tired at the end of the day and frankly, I just don't think about it. I told my husband that it is me and not him and that I love him, but sex is the last thing on my mind. I do have one good week out of the month and believe me he takes advantage of it because he knows it will probably be the next month when we have sex again.

I am the same. I am 52 now and the urges have almost diminshed. I am single however and feel somewhat lucky that I do not have to 'fulfil' a mans sexual needs. To be honest, I couldnt think of anything worse. I feel now that sex is not an essential part of life as you get older so it wouldnt bother me if I never had it again. A good place to be :))

yeh your sex life does change or stop nothing you can do about it except take hormome treatment which will help and the hot flushes well what can i say its 30 deg here at the moment and boy is it hot mood swings are common as well i had a histroctomy at 28 cant stay on med for long periods of time cause of cancer its rough but women are the stronger sex so were told

Absolutely! I went from a savage animal to a celebate prude overnight. I had to learn how to enjoy sex again. The best advice I've read is that we just have to create the opportunity now, it's not impulsive anymore. Treat yourself to lovely, satiny lingerie. Buy some lavendar massage oil and use it on each other! (Don't just let it sit under the cabinet.) Talk to you mate about this as well. Vaginal dryness will also become an issue at some point. K-Y jelly. Sorry, but our changed bodies need a little help in that area. And don't get depressed about it. It's just a new chapter in our lives. We gain a new "voice" and it's really something to celebrate. Lastly, here's a women's health website to check out: www.womentowomen.com
Hope this helps :)

Philips314-I have been on the website that you suggested. It is very informative. I now have to get myself in the mood to have sex with my husband. I also was very active 3-4 times a week and now it is barely once every two weeks. I am very dry and sometimes it hurts but afterwards there is the burning and itching. Went to the doctor and had a urine test-negative. No yeast seen. The only time I feel like having sex is right after my period is over and that lasts for about a week and believe me my husband takes advantage of that time very well. I will try the KY to see if it helps. Thanks. DebbT.