All my life I have seemed to put myself in relationships with people that have an addiction and I'm absolutely fed up with it. My mom has been a crack addict for 4-5 years now and has been in and out of jail... and is now in a halfway house for the second time.

In April, I met a new guy that I fell head over heels for... but there's a problem... he smokes weed. At first, I would smoke with him in the evening when I was done with school work and everything. After a while I began to realize that he was addicted to it. He would do it everyday, starting when he woke up. To get him to stop I threatened to break up with him, and he would start giving me ultimatums by saying I'm only going to do it every other day or once a week... once a month etc... but he would never follow through and thats where my true hatred for the substance started. His lying and telling me he'd do something and not follow through. In high school, my now ex boyfriend was "straight-edge" (didn't smoke or drink) and it wasn't until college that he started smoking and drinking. Now he tells me that smoking is his drinking. He would rather smoke than drink. He DID slow down drastically which I greatly love but now its come down to the fact that he told me he wouldn't get back with me until my views on weed changed. And to be honest, its not weed... its the past. He had to move back home from college because he failed his entire freshman year. He has told me in the past two weeks that he will do it at least once or twice a week because thats a happy medium for him, he feels that its not too much and its a satisfying amount of him to do it. There is not one material thing that I can say I enjoy enough to have to do it once a week. I wish I was that something, because love lasts, materials don't. And this is the ONLY thing I don't like about him.

As for me, I smoked for the first time when I was 16 and I liked it at first but then I realized I was forgetting things a lot and started feeling stupid, now when I do it I find that it depresses me. I feel like a hypocrite because I DO do it (like maybe once every 2-3 months). But I just don't think it is something that should be planned nor is it something that even compares to someone you love, I feel like he's choosing weed over me.

A part of me wants to give in, but at the same time I know at least once a week I will be disappointed/mad at him and I don't know if it's worth it. I love him dearly and would do anything for him and I wish he would do that for me in return.

He has also told me recently that he is productive when he's stoned... like he couldn't finish this book if he wouldn't have read it high for class. I think that people who don't smoke that often honestly can't function when they're high. But in his case, it helps him to read and take better notes.

And weed was not the reason why we broke up in the first place... it was other reasons... so why does it have to be an issue when we're trying to get back together? He also said that if a friend calls him to go to a party he asks them if theres going to be weed there and when he really has the urge to do it he calls someone and asks if they have it and if not, he asks if they know anyone who does. And i think it's freakin ridiculous... that is an addict to me.

When you're in a relationship with someone and they're stoned.... it puts you in an akward situation because you don't feel on their level if you're not stoned. Sometimes you don't know if what they're saying is how they truly feel or like you're talking to a wall. I don't like him stoned. I also become extremely frustrated because I wonder what does weed give him that I can't? And I feel that when he eventually does quit for good... will there be something else that has to replace it?

I just wanted some advice... thank you.