
Marijuana Addiction & Recovery Support Group
This community is dedicated to those looking to overcome their addiction to marijuana, a drug produced from parts of the cannabis plant. Join the group to find support among people who are also looking to cease their habit of smoking marijuana, share your experience, and get advice. It's not easy to kick the habit, but together we can.

deleted_user
All my life I have seemed to put myself in relationships with people that have an addiction and I'm absolutely fed up with it. My mom has been a crack addict for 4-5 years now and has been in and out of jail... and is now in a halfway house for the second time.
In April, I met a new guy that I fell head over heels for... but there's a problem... he smokes weed. At first, I would smoke with him in the evening when I was done with school work and everything. After a while I began to realize that he was addicted to it. He would do it everyday, starting when he woke up. To get him to stop I threatened to break up with him, and he would start giving me ultimatums by saying I'm only going to do it every other day or once a week... once a month etc... but he would never follow through and thats where my true hatred for the substance started. His lying and telling me he'd do something and not follow through. In high school, my now ex boyfriend was "straight-edge" (didn't smoke or drink) and it wasn't until college that he started smoking and drinking. Now he tells me that smoking is his drinking. He would rather smoke than drink. He DID slow down drastically which I greatly love but now its come down to the fact that he told me he wouldn't get back with me until my views on weed changed. And to be honest, its not weed... its the past. He had to move back home from college because he failed his entire freshman year. He has told me in the past two weeks that he will do it at least once or twice a week because thats a happy medium for him, he feels that its not too much and its a satisfying amount of him to do it. There is not one material thing that I can say I enjoy enough to have to do it once a week. I wish I was that something, because love lasts, materials don't. And this is the ONLY thing I don't like about him.
As for me, I smoked for the first time when I was 16 and I liked it at first but then I realized I was forgetting things a lot and started feeling stupid, now when I do it I find that it depresses me. I feel like a hypocrite because I DO do it (like maybe once every 2-3 months). But I just don't think it is something that should be planned nor is it something that even compares to someone you love, I feel like he's choosing weed over me.
A part of me wants to give in, but at the same time I know at least once a week I will be disappointed/mad at him and I don't know if it's worth it. I love him dearly and would do anything for him and I wish he would do that for me in return.
He has also told me recently that he is productive when he's stoned... like he couldn't finish this book if he wouldn't have read it high for class. I think that people who don't smoke that often honestly can't function when they're high. But in his case, it helps him to read and take better notes.
And weed was not the reason why we broke up in the first place... it was other reasons... so why does it have to be an issue when we're trying to get back together? He also said that if a friend calls him to go to a party he asks them if theres going to be weed there and when he really has the urge to do it he calls someone and asks if they have it and if not, he asks if they know anyone who does. And i think it's freakin ridiculous... that is an addict to me.
When you're in a relationship with someone and they're stoned.... it puts you in an akward situation because you don't feel on their level if you're not stoned. Sometimes you don't know if what they're saying is how they truly feel or like you're talking to a wall. I don't like him stoned. I also become extremely frustrated because I wonder what does weed give him that I can't? And I feel that when he eventually does quit for good... will there be something else that has to replace it?
I just wanted some advice... thank you.
In April, I met a new guy that I fell head over heels for... but there's a problem... he smokes weed. At first, I would smoke with him in the evening when I was done with school work and everything. After a while I began to realize that he was addicted to it. He would do it everyday, starting when he woke up. To get him to stop I threatened to break up with him, and he would start giving me ultimatums by saying I'm only going to do it every other day or once a week... once a month etc... but he would never follow through and thats where my true hatred for the substance started. His lying and telling me he'd do something and not follow through. In high school, my now ex boyfriend was "straight-edge" (didn't smoke or drink) and it wasn't until college that he started smoking and drinking. Now he tells me that smoking is his drinking. He would rather smoke than drink. He DID slow down drastically which I greatly love but now its come down to the fact that he told me he wouldn't get back with me until my views on weed changed. And to be honest, its not weed... its the past. He had to move back home from college because he failed his entire freshman year. He has told me in the past two weeks that he will do it at least once or twice a week because thats a happy medium for him, he feels that its not too much and its a satisfying amount of him to do it. There is not one material thing that I can say I enjoy enough to have to do it once a week. I wish I was that something, because love lasts, materials don't. And this is the ONLY thing I don't like about him.
As for me, I smoked for the first time when I was 16 and I liked it at first but then I realized I was forgetting things a lot and started feeling stupid, now when I do it I find that it depresses me. I feel like a hypocrite because I DO do it (like maybe once every 2-3 months). But I just don't think it is something that should be planned nor is it something that even compares to someone you love, I feel like he's choosing weed over me.
A part of me wants to give in, but at the same time I know at least once a week I will be disappointed/mad at him and I don't know if it's worth it. I love him dearly and would do anything for him and I wish he would do that for me in return.
He has also told me recently that he is productive when he's stoned... like he couldn't finish this book if he wouldn't have read it high for class. I think that people who don't smoke that often honestly can't function when they're high. But in his case, it helps him to read and take better notes.
And weed was not the reason why we broke up in the first place... it was other reasons... so why does it have to be an issue when we're trying to get back together? He also said that if a friend calls him to go to a party he asks them if theres going to be weed there and when he really has the urge to do it he calls someone and asks if they have it and if not, he asks if they know anyone who does. And i think it's freakin ridiculous... that is an addict to me.
When you're in a relationship with someone and they're stoned.... it puts you in an akward situation because you don't feel on their level if you're not stoned. Sometimes you don't know if what they're saying is how they truly feel or like you're talking to a wall. I don't like him stoned. I also become extremely frustrated because I wonder what does weed give him that I can't? And I feel that when he eventually does quit for good... will there be something else that has to replace it?
I just wanted some advice... thank you.

deleted_user
I didnt read it all but i so..hear you.I want to stop smoking cuz im all spacy and shit but he says that he will always smoke weed! And its hard not to smoke when he is smoking.and buying more. These guys and their green..lol

deleted_user
I just went thru the exact same thing with my girlfriend. She is totally against it and for the first 3 months she tried to accept the fact that that is what I did. she could not, so I said I would quit. Which of course being an addict I lied and tried to find ways to hide it from her. When someone loves you they know. She found out that I was lying about it and moved out after a year living together. This devistated me and I went and got help. 3 months in an Intensive outpatient program. At first I would not admit I had a problem, then one day It all became clear and I admitted that I did have a problem. I have been clean and sober for 10 months and we are working on getting back together. At first I did it for her but in the end I am doing this for myself, because that is the only way it works. You cant do it for someone else, nor can you expect someone to quit if they do not want to. I smoked pot for 30 years so lots of experience. not good either. Life is so much better this way. Its very hard at first but it gets better as the days go by. Just remember You cant change someone who doesnt want the change in their selves. It never works.

deleted_user
For an addict (any breed) their drug of choice comes first..period.People are right when they tell you you can't change his behaviour..but you can change your own.The best advice I can give you is to go check out Al-Anon.Primarily they are a support group for friends/family of Alcoholics, but their principals apply to a wide spectrum of people who are caught up in 'unhealthy' relationships.My partner joined when I was still smoking alot of dope, it helped him enormously.At first I hated him going..but now that I'm clean and sober I am glad he did..I was sending him mad.I personally don't know much about the program, but I understand they have a theory that children of alcoholics/addicts very often end up in relationships with alcoholics/addicts..anyhow I thoroughly reccommend you check them out.Good luck.

deleted_user
I have almost the exact situation. My boyfriend has been smoking pot for several years now. He used to do it about everyday for three years. It has gradually slowed down (because of me) but I feel like I am always checking up on him. His birthday was last week and he got some money from his relatives. The second I found out he had money I was afraid he would spend it on pot. He didn't, but the fact that I had to keep checking in on him made me really upset. He is out of a job right now and I feel like he if he gets one he will just have more money to spend on pot. He used to make excuses to do it, like he needed it, but would never admit to an addiction. I've told him time and time again that he could get drug tested at his job, but he just doesn't listen. I don't like to even talk to him on the phone when he is stoned because he can't pay attention. It just pisses me off when he gets high before he sees me (he doesn't do it often). I think that you should just tell your "boyfriend" that you are more important than that stupid plant and if he can't see that then he isn't good enough for you. Maybe you just need to find a more stable guy. I love the hell out of him and I know that he wouldn't pick pot over me, but sometimes I just want him to think about how I feel. If they can't take into consideration how you feel then they aren't worth it. Signed--Nora
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