I used to be the first person to judge someone like me. I don't like much about myself anymore, but for some reason, I seem unable to stop those things that I'm doing to hurt myself and my family. The judgement cast on me by other people have kept me from being honest and getting help for so long, but I am relieved to find anonymity here and share my problems, because my family really needs help before my husband and I destroy them. I know the root of my problems is in weed, as it is for my husband. We are addicted. Anyone who says you can't be addicted to weed, and many have told me that, has never been in my shoes. I see the destruction it has caused, how I've made my life an unhappy place to live because of it, how I've hurt my kids, and still I can't find the will to quit. What is wrong with me? What kind of person can't quit drugs for their kids, or their unborn child? The scary thing is, I'm afraid that even if I lost everything; my children, my husband, my family, my home, my pets, and my health, that I would eventually adapt to and accept my life, and continue to smoke weed. I must be stupid. I feel like if I can't be stronger and get better, I don't deserve those things anyway. I should rot.
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