Well, he definitely has a psychological addiction, and that is much harder to beat than a physical addiction because it takes a load of work and often, much time. When a person gets used to that high, that pleasant feeling, they don't want to let it go. You often come to a point where you don't believe you can live without that feeling, and that's when chemical dependancy treatment is needed, in my opinion. You have to learn how to live your life without that feeling that you so much love, and how to effectively cope with the anxiety, depression, or whatever other negative psychological effect is experienced once that feeling can no longer be felt. You have to gain strength which comes with support and knowledge. A good support system is absolutely necessary or an addict will go back to his or her old habits. That kind of support comes from family, and usually, a good twelve step program or even the support of a church.

I don't know your son and whether or not he plans to smoke again. I myself have quit smoking for long periods of time with no help at all, and though I could have remained drug free, I found myself in a difficult situation emotionally, and decided I wanted something to put a smile on my face. Weed was that thing. At that point, I didn't care in the least whether I was drug free or not, so I didn't even attempt to resist it.

I think weed can be a problem or not. If your son was stealing to buy weed, then he DEFINITELY has a problem. I think either way, you should encourage him to get some support in some form. I mean, it can't hurt, right?

I REALLY hope your son will be okay and live a long and happy life, free of legal troubles from now on. My prayers are with you both!

It depends if he does start smoking again, if he does then yes he must be an addict. And if the trouble he got into with the law was a result or related in some way to to him smoking then definitely. Most likely!

But i don't think it necessarily means he needs to go through a 12 step program. It depends on want mindset he is in when he gets out of jail and if he takes positive or negative actions. If he wants to start up smoking weed again then I guess he either needs to go to a 12 step program or face the consequences of his actions again until he learns that he's responsible for his own behaviour.

It's something he has to learn himself though. a support group is good, i've heard that group therapy and helping other addicts is truly the best treatment for addicts.

Get yourself to Al Anon and fast. You need this program so that you will know how to respond and handle this. I belong to it and it has been very helpful. There are many Al Anon groups throughout the USA, so you shouldn't have any problem finding one. Any drug treatment center or hot line in your area should be able to direct you. I also belong to a Families Anonymous group that is made up of parents of drug addicted "children". The group I belong to for the parents has "children" ranging in ages from 16 to 40. Our son is 16. We (my hubby and I) have the youngest one in the group. This group or Al Anon will help you not to enable your son. I wish you the best.

Thanks to everyone who has answered. I really appreciate your advise. I have decided that there will be a contract signed between us. The things that I require: no drugs in the home, no stealing and no stolen items in the home, curfew of 1pm or phone call saying he will not be home,
attending AA meetings (90 in 90 days). If he cannot do these goals then he will not be living at home. I intend to tell him that I know that adicts experience relapses but I expect him to get back up and attend recovery again. As far as drugs in the house or stealing - I will tell him that I will take him to the shelter to live. I can no longer live the way we did before. I do believe that his smoking made him steal to get more drugs and he was also dealing partly as a way to "be someone" (not my words - his). He's ADHD and dyslexic and has always had a difficult time fitting in with others. He does intend to start junior college and get a job so hopefully he really wants to get a normal life. We shall see - he comes home Wed.

duci, Remember you can't make him stop he has to want to stop or it not work. Daily smoker for 30 years and the only thing that made me stop was losing my family and I don't know if I will get them back but I do know that if I continued to smoke I had no chance of getting my family back. 30 day clean now so it is possible.

Ron

Not to make you worry, but if he starts stealing etc he may be using a harder drug such as coke or heroin. Again dont panic but I dont know many people that steal for Mary Jane. Get some home drug tests at your local drug store. Walgreens, eckerds they all carry em. Make that a condition of living at home, in a nice way.