Marijuana Addiction & Recovery Support Group

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13 yr old son

deleted_user
deleted_user
I have a 13 yr old son that has had behavioral issues since birth. ADHD
these things have been a continuing issue for awhile and as I have the same thing I know how he feels. He has been caught with pot at school and I am beside myself. He told a really long story about how someone traded him the drugs for something he had and that he was going to sell it to get rid of it.(no the story did not make me feel better) and that he was not going to actually use them. This is the second time he has been caught with pot, possibly the 3rd but we have no proof about the first time. I tried the talking thing, the I am so dissapointed thing and the going off the deep end and going on a tirade thing. Obviously not working. I called addiction services and they tell me that there is nothing that they can do about it since he does not feel that he has a problem and they usually don't treat kids that age anyway. His father is in Afganistan right now and my husband (his step) is so mad that he does not trust himself to speak to my son right now. I called a friend on the police force, and asked some advice. I called a friend on the youth restorative justice board and called in a favor. So today at 1:30 he is going to start that program. I told him that he broke the law and I turned him in. (as of right now the police are not actually involved) and since he broke the law that he would have to do the punishment and we may asign community service as well. not sure if this is the right approach, but it is all I got. if anyone can give me some advice as to whether this is the right approach or if they have any other suggestions I would appreciate anything at all.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Sorry to hear about your son's problem. I started smoking at 13 myself and was able to hide it from my parents and no police problems. I became a 30 years daily smoker. I also have ADHD along with Bi-Polar. The Pot was me self medicating and was the only thing that made me able to deal with people and life. I have been clean now for 26 days. It is really good that you know and are concerned this will help alot. Best advice I can give to you is to let your son know of your concern with this issue, the trouble he can get in because of it, and you do not condone his smoking. If my parents would have found out and showed concern instead of only punishment I know it would have made a big difference in my smoking. Best of luck.

Ron
deleted_user
deleted_user
my bf has been a part of my life since he was 12. he got into weed at 14 to self medicate for bipolar. many people smoke pot as a way to self medicate some kind of condition. anyway. he has been arrested..not just caught..with weed twice. he's been on probation, had community service..the whole ball of wax. and it didnt help. what finally made him change his mind and want to quit was the fact that he began hating himself for all of his lies and deceit the weed brought. i left him for almost 2 months. he came to me and asked for help and we got a doctor's order to send him to rehab. good luck. =]
deleted_user
deleted_user
Turning in your own son, what do you hate him? That is the worst thing you could do, you need to keep it between you two and try and help him deal with it, not treat him like a criminal, he is probaly going to hate you for doing that, and if you turn him in it will show on his record for the rest of his life, it will completly ruin his life, just because he made a dumb mistake.Help him get thourgh it, don't make it worse.
deleted_user
deleted_user
He's just a kid, that made a stupid mistake.
deleted_user
deleted_user
it wont show on his record the rest of his life. only until he's 18. have you never been in trouble?
deleted_user
deleted_user
and i seriously doubt he will hate you. he may say so for awhile. but he wont. i had a friend that we had to take guns, knifes, pills, rope, etc away from MANY times last year..and finally his mom had him committed. he was REALLY upset but he didnt hate her. what would make this any different?
deleted_user
deleted_user
No I don't hate him, and no he does not hate me. There is no record as the police officer is a good friend and the youth worker is a friend as well so we are "unofficially" putting him through the program. I tried the talking thing and it did not work so I am now trying to make him see what could and will happen if this continues. He does not hate me, we have had a great talk last night and though he is scared he realizes that I am there to support him and he is taking advantage of that. He even gave me a hug last night.
deleted_user
deleted_user
that's great. i hope he had the same kind of realizations that my bf made. i never figured he would hate you. ignore the guy that left "advice" after i left that first bit.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Things are going well today. He has been as good as gold lol. I took him to the RCMP station with me today and had him watch me fill out a request for a criminal record check that I need for a new job. I figured that if he could see what I had to do just to be an office manager that it may put into perspective for him the hoops he will have to go through and the checks he will have when he gets older if he goes into the military like he wants to. He said he never thought about things like that.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I was caught with pot when I was about 14. I was sent to a rehab. I haven't really tried it that much since then. Possible once a month since September-October and not at all before then.. Possibly your insurance covers it.
deleted_user
deleted_user
It must have taken alot of courage to do what you did.I have never been in this situation, but I suspect I would come down hard too on my children if I had to,as to turn a blind eye only begins a pattern of enabling which many family members/friends of addicts/alcoholics fall into-not that your son neccessarily falls into either category..at 13 he is still a baby,but you taking a stand now increases his chances of dealing with whatever issues he may have and gives him the opportunity to find other coping mechanisms to employ..and this, in my experience, is as important as putting the drug down.That,and getting to the root of the problem,discovering and facing the reasons why I/we 'self medicate'.
You said his father is in Afghanistan? This must be very hard for your boy..I imagine it would be really frightening for him.Is he recieving counselling for this..or has he just got somebody he trusts that he can confide in? Also( and obviously I don't know any of you at all,so I may just be shooting in the dark here) you mentioned that his step father is so angry he can't speak to your son right now..this may not be the best way for him to handle this situation.I'm not saying he hasn't got the right to feel angry about what has happened, of course he has, but your son may react to this anger and feel rejection, which may lead to further rebellion and escapism.What is their relationship like normally? If your husband could show patience and compassion whilst still remaining firm, I believe this would be more constructive.Wishing your family all the best,K.
deleted_user
deleted_user
im sorry. that you have to go through that with your son.
i started smoking pot when i was 15 but my parents never really said to much im not sure how much they really know.
but when i was 13 my mom thought i was taking pills. becasue a friend of mine got caught so she drug tested me.. it was negitive.. but maybe you should try that if you really want to know if he is smoking
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