Hi Bertinam,
Yes, I can relate. I have been sick since June 2008 with lyme too. I didn't know it until last month that I had lyme and had been to many, many doctors and having all kinds of health issues. I live everyday with horrible fatique, cloudy thinking, and horrible head pressure that never goes away. I have been on antibiotics since I found out this is lyme but doesn't seem to have made any difference at all so far. If anything, I definitely feel worse. My teeth hurt, my jaw hurts, my hands hurt, my eyes hurt, my knee hurts, my back hurts, my neck hurts, everything hurts. I'm sick of being sick too. I was extremely healthy before the lyme and hardly even caught a cold, now I feel like I have a flu everyday. I haven't had any good days yet, so it would be nice if I even had one good day to do something around the house. I spend most of my day laying around and going to work, that's all the energy I have. Lyme is horrible! I have been asking God why since it started, I know He can carry me through this and He will carry you through this too. What gets me through the day sometimes is to think of all the things that I can still do. I can think, see, hear, talk, walk, work, and I still have my family. I am blessed and so are You. God Bless You.

Thank you Betty1939. It is so easy to focus on the negative because the pain is always there. And if it isn't you wonder when it will come back because it seems to always be so close-and if it's safe to plan an event in the future or not. I pray that God will comfort you and give you a good day ASAP! And yes, I will try and be thankful. I have a husband who works so I can stay home and have fun with Lyme and homeschooling. My girls are great and helpful. God bless you and someday He will wipe away all tears and sorrow and pain!

I am also 6.5 months into my treatment for lyme disease. Diagnosed on july 31 of 08. I have had some very low points and some not too bad points, and recently as I was about to cross the 6 month mark my body went haywire. Old symptoms that were very distressing but had all but disappeared are back with a vengance. I think I can fully appreciate where you are comming from... there is frustration and loss, sadness, fear, and questioning. I have to also add that there is hope and growth also in the mix, and add to that spiritual shifts that have brought me (kicking and screaming) closer to acceptance. I don't know what to tell you is the reason for all of this, because for each of us there is a different reason.... and, we can't really see the big picture when we are in the middle of it. Trusting that there is a Divine influence moving here is the best way I can figure out how to move from day to day and make those tough decisions. Lyme has given me a lot of gifts, of that I am certain. The biggest is the one I am learning now... how to honor my body by taking care of it... taking care of me. I have not been doing a very good job of that. I have taken all my meds and followed all of the dietary recs most of the time... but I have been working myself into the ground through pain, fatigue, and brain fog. I almost crashed my car yesterday when I had a familiar pain while I was driving... "OKAY God, I am listening now... I will stop. I will take a rest. Work will have to get on with out me". Yes, I can really relate. You'll get through this. One way I am sure God has not forgotten you is that he led you hear to Daily Strength... this is an amazing support group and perhaps, just perhaps, this was God's way of saying "I notice you ... I am giving you this place for support and kinship". Sorry for running so long. Your story hit so many chords. I'm so sorry you are sick.... I hope you will visit this board and see how much help you will find here. hugs... Donna

Thank you! You are so kind and this group is helping. It's also very eye-opening to the fact that Lymn is often if not always, chronic if not caught soon enough. I know I used to be somewhat judgemental regarding illnesses with no known origin thinking it must be a sick-head thing but no more! I have become extremely compassionate to the suffering of others with similiar illnesses. And that, I know is a good thing.
He is the one who heals us..

Ahhh.... compassion towards a wider circle of humanity... that has been one of my other gifts of Lyme. 30 years and two bites later I finally found out what was wrong with me. And,to most people I look fine on the outside but I am physically far from fine... it just doesn't always show so much. That has really reminded me that people don't always carry their burdens where I can easily see them, but it doesn't mean they aren't carrying something. Don't lose hope. Long term treatment can be so effective, but it takes a long time. Every person is different... you'll get there. We all will.

Hang in there, I have had this undetected most of my life and it has ruled my life. I am 38 now. There were days I could not even walk. Or migraines so bad for week at a time. I wanted to just literally die.
It is a hard disease to beat and unfortunately most doctors are blind to it and it;s symptoms. So don't expet an overnight miracle it will take a while. Take it one day at a time.
You will have good days and bad days. I can remember one year ago, I never had a good day. So the Lord is good and his mercy endures forever, Be strong.

I have wondered many times why God did not just send that darn tick another direction! I was in nursing school when I got bit and started having symptoms. I thought I was going to have to drop out of school at one point. And at another point one of my instructors asked me who I thought would give me a job if I had some kind of "mystery" illness. But God, who is faithful, carried me through, and He gave me a job (even when I then was diagnosed w/ bladder cancer). And since I started treatment this past fall and had to take a leave from my job, I have asked Him many times why He carried me through all that trouble of nursing school only to have me lie worthless at home.
But this is what I know about God, even when I do not feel it: He sees us, He knows us, He has a plan for us and He loves us. He did not send Lyme to us, but He will use it to make us more like what He wants us to be. He is teaching us things we might not have learned otherwise.
A month ago it looked like I was going to have to quit my job, but they gave me an unexpected additional 30 day leave. And this week I am returning to work. A month ago I had to just let go of my job, my health and my plans and leave them all in God's hands. That was not an easy task. And it's a task that I have to keep doing. But I have learned (am learning, will keep learning) that surrender is an on-going thing, not a one-time event.
So don't lose heart. God knew when He gave you your ministry that this Lyme was in your future. He knows He is in your future, and He is bigger than this disease.
Hugs and prayers,
Laura

Thank you everyone.I can relate to why God did not send the tick the other way. I don't know what bit me exactly. I was wearing a long sleeve shirt and a leather jacket and some bug crawled up my sleeve and bit me several times. I never saw it, just felt it and then saw the rash. I really think I might of got it from a crawly creaure on produce-I was returning from the grocery store and got bit in my car. So, yes, I do wonder why God let that happen but I do have to trust even when I cannot see. Seems plumb crazy to me but He is Lord and His ways are higher than mine.

It's so hard to accept that we might never know exactly when or where we got bitten. The rash (ER) is not always at the site of the bite... and to have several "bulls eyes" doesn't necessarily mean you had several bites. My bulls eyes were on my belly and my left foot was covered with a crazy rash that looked like flea bites. I'll never know where I got bitten... only that I did. THere is nothing about this illness that does not lead us one step closer to acceptance of the unknown. That's hard for a control/knowledge/information hound like me! Maybe that's why i feel this is such a special group... because we are all forced to face something we can't see, to accept its power over certain aspects of our lives, and to find a way to make peace, move on, live fully. Hmmmm... I never thought of it like that.

I am between 3-5 years with this thing, and have been getting treatment for two (I think, I lost count). I did the whole nine yards, IV antbx and so forth. This disease runs in distinct cycles; a good day followed by a few bad ones. It's the nature of the beast. I never had a rash or anything and do not know exactly when I was infected.

I am banging my head against a wall because I had a good month and thought I was free...but it snuck back on me as badly as before.

I think God is allowing us to have this because he knows we are stronger than we think. Pull closer to God now, don't allow this to pull you away from your faith. I also think we are being used to educate others.

Remember, God never says "oops," so there is a reason for this even though we don't know what it is.

What I find so ironic about my bite is that we went hiking as a way to increase our health and to have some family time while I was in nursing school. We sprayed with deet, checked for ticks, were covered up, and still I got bit. It might not have been a tick. Had a bite that looked like a mosquito bite on my chest, but it went away overnight. Then the symptoms came. Then the bite came back in the exact same spot. It comes and goes -- the last time I saw it was when I was having the PICC tx in November. It's appeared a total of 9 times, each time w/ worsening symptoms, except for the last time, when I was herxing so bad anyway. Strange disease.