So my husband is out of town and he is very depressed.... He told me when he is gone he feels out of control and scared something will happen to me since I am not in his care... I reassured him I am here with my parents and I will be fine but he is so scared about my biopsy and everything going on with me... in a way it is sweet because I know how much he loves me but I feel awful that he is living out of a hotel this week and scared for me... I wish I had the magical words to make him feel like everything will be okay with me but he is starting to open up to me and he is so scared something is going to happen to me :( it's been almost a year ago when I almost died from a nasty blood infection so maybe those feelings are stirring up but I am just not used to him worrying this much about me or at least expressing it to me... this liver biopsy just has us both freaked out... partly the procedure, the complications and pain it could bring and probably flare and most of all the results.. we pretty much are prepared to hear it is auto-immune liver disease I have accepted that but who knows... I just feel awful my family has to suffer along with me in this horrid journey... the guilt is very intense. Like the other day he gave up free football tickets to be home with me Sunday to take care of me... didnt call and ask just declined them... he said i hope you know how much i love you because i gave these tickets up to be home with you and take care of you but it made me feel so guilty... *sigh* Anyone else suffer from extreme guilt from the burden this illness puts on our families? people always worrying, having to help out etc. I cant even count how many times family members have had to race to our house late at night to stay at my house while I was in the ER or watch my kids all day while I was in bed to sick to get up... it just makes me feel bad... :(
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