lastnight i was having dinner with family, i announced that my doctor just recently put me on prednisone and i was not feeling too well, i felt so frustrated because i was too tired to even feed myself and feeling so vunerable and embarrased that they had to see me that way, i started crying and couldnt stop for hours, everyone tried to console me, until a family member says out loud "you have t be strong and fight this because its all in your head" well that was enough for me, i stood up and yelled in tears, "how can you fake a blood result", i was so upset and still am, i feel so horrible today its not funny, i worked so hard to stay healthy and trying to educate my family on lupus, but it just seems that no one understands how i feel, the last 3 yrs have been the best for me i stayed out of hospital and was off prednisone for 3 yrs, i lost 20kilos due to all th weight i gained, im so frustrated, if i cant handle just one family member being so ignorant towards lupus, how can i handle anyone else, its just all too hard, i want to get out and be with my friends, but im stuck in bed :(
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