I thought I knew fear until I got the diagnosis of lung cancer. Even the diagnosis of breast cancer 8 years ago, didn't instill this fear in me. It was early stage and hadn't spread. I feel hollow inside, incredibly lonely, vulnerable, frightened and depressed. I cope hour by hour and try to be near my family. My friends are some distance away, but they are of great comfort to me. I feel as though I'm a member of a dark, deep club. Of course I will fight this monster, but I also know the odds are not good. The radiologist feels it hasn't spread, but it's location is one where it's inoperable. Near the aorta, spine, and esophagus. Staging is tomorrow, with brain MRI and body PET. If no spread, I'll receive chemo AND rads at the same time. I'm in a nightmare I can't wake up from. God bless. Kris
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