I thought I knew fear until I got the diagnosis of lung cancer. Even the diagnosis of breast cancer 8 years ago, didn't instill this fear in me. It was early stage and hadn't spread. I feel hollow inside, incredibly lonely, vulnerable, frightened and depressed. I cope hour by hour and try to be near my family. My friends are some distance away, but they are of great comfort to me. I feel as though I'm a member of a dark, deep club. Of course I will fight this monster, but I also know the odds are not good. The radiologist feels it hasn't spread, but it's location is one where it's inoperable. Near the aorta, spine, and esophagus. Staging is tomorrow, with brain MRI and body PET. If no spread, I'll receive chemo AND rads at the same time. I'm in a nightmare I can't wake up from. God bless. Kris
Posts You May Be Interested In
A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...
I have my maxed amount of epidural shots of my cervical DDD....(and no one cares about my lumbar DDD)..... I've done physical therapy, muscle relaxers, Amitriptyline, Nortryptiline, desipramine.....narcotics... So I decided to go to a spine specialist and they have me on Gabapentin. Its been two weeks and it did nothing for my lumbar ever... but it did seem to help my cervical and arm/hand pain...