I really hate my life at the moment. I'm so lonely I just get more and more depressed every day. Sure I have family and they are magnificent. I live alone with my partner away from family. But I'd like to have friends instead of just family. I can never make friends, especially at work, I'm not sure exactly it is what scares them away but something does. When I'm in a work situation with others I am very nervous, i try to stay cool but it must show, i answer really quick, i know exactly whats going on around me and whos where, i am so unrelaxed. I think others talk about me, then be nice to my face. I try to change to match the person who is talking to me instead of just being myself. I don't feel like I am good enough except when with my family because they know the real me. Its like I need everyones praise, approval and right of way. I hate living like this I wish I could have the self-confidence inside me to just be me infront of whoever it is. I am fine when I drink alcohol, I can have a really good time with people but if theres no alcohol I become such a nerd. I overthink every situation to the extreme in the worst way. eg someone might say "thats not very nice" and immediately I will think they are talking about me. And when I keep thinking and thinking I get paranoid in a way. If I don't control this feeling it can build up to be very uncomfortable. It had gotten to the point where I'm so worried to go back to work, and people are noticing and when they do notice they play on it and this only makes it worse. Can anyone help me or have you been in the same boat???HELP
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