All Ive ever done my whole life was be nice to people. I constantly put in the extra effort to please others. Why? Honestly, no one even gives a shit about me. Im tired of being bored at home all alone. Im tired of never fitting in no matter what I do. Its so easy for everyone else. I literally feel like no one gives a fucking shit about me. Theres not even anyone to talk to about this with out seeming overdramatic. Everyday I wake up more depressed than the next. My life is literally shit right now. Fuck everyone and everything. Im done putting effort and time into my friendships. I wish I could just know that someone cares, that someone wants to put effort into a friendship with me, like how I actually put effort into my friendships. I never get invited anywhere. If I dont text people to hang out first, I have no plans for the night. Im constantly everyones second choice, and Im so tired of it. So Im building up a wall. Maybe someone will care enough to break it down. Probably not though, who am I kidding? I guess Im used to being alone anyway, its nothing know. I know that no matter what I do Ill never be good enough for anyone. People constantly tell me that Im a good person, and how nice I am. I guess people dont like hanging out with nice people. Im truthfully only nice to people because its the only reason why people like me. Ive honestly had enough of all of this bullshit. I deleted my Facebook, I hate all the fucking pictures I see of people have fun with their best friends. I honestly feel like I dont have one true consistent friend in my life. Please, just tell me when things will get better. I hate being alone. I hate myself. I hate that I let people walk all over me. I hate telling my parents that I enjoy spending time in my room, when really Im too depressed to leave it. I hate that people dont even want to give me a chance. I hate that people dont even want to know me. I hate that people dont give a shit about wanting to be my friend. Ive done so much, and I honestly feel like I bother people when I contact them. I just want to feel excepted, and to feel like I belong. Lets see if anyone breaks down that wall. Honestly, does anyone give a shit?
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