Ive been alone my whole life
Ive been alone my whole life, never had any close friends or even family members. And i tried hard to reach out to people and be a good friend to others but for some reason I never made any real friends. Everybody around me seemed to have at least one best friend, somebody they shared everything with and could talk to. All i wanted was to have someone to talk to and be there for me and do the same for them. I think this is the reason I got married so young, because all of a sudden there was a person showing interest in me and who was there when i needed him and i could talk to him. It felt good in the beginning not be lonely anymore. But soon after we got married things went down hill and I went back to being as lonely if not more than I used to be. When we got married we started hanging out with other couples and kinda made up a group. For a while I felt very happy, finally feeling like I belonged with this group of friends, but that didn't last long either. Soon they started hanging out often together without us and leaving us out. And even when we did hang out together, that's all it ever was ... hanging out. I felt like the friendships we had were superficial and shallow. I would rather have 1 good friend that I can talk to about real things and who actually cares about me then a group of friends hanging out but nobody actually really knows one another. Anyways it hurt me that they were always leaving us out like that and I felt like I was the only one who ever looked for them, they rarely looked for me so I just stopped hanging out with them. I don't think they were ever real friends anyways. So im back to having nobody ... and my marriage is falling apart so a friend would be so nice to have right now.
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