I am married with 2 children. I have friends, acquaintances, and co-workers. I feel like I don't belong ANYWHERE, and that NO ONE could ever understand. I am empathetic and encouraging to others; I care when someone is down or going through something. I try to be a good human being by treating others as I want to be treated. But I can not shake the feeling of isolation anywhere and/or the overwhelming terror of abandonment. It doesn't make sense. I can't understand it. I observe others, trying to understand their motives and thoughts. I replicate the positive behaviors successfully but do not feel the success. I feel alien to humanity at times, I often think i would be happier hidden away from people. I sometimes wonder if some 'missing persons' aren't just people who gave up on humanity and went somewhere to not be hurt anymore or if some 'homeless', just couldn't pretend anymore and 'disappeared'. It hurts. It burns, chills, throbs, errupts, smothers, and cripples. I am alive. I endure. I feel I am behind a thick glass wall observing life all around; I can't hear, smell, touch, and taste it. Just watch it go by with all it's temptation and wonder what it's like.
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