I went over to my best friend and neighbor Tom's house tonight at 9 to check on him and say good night. His daughter and sisters were there along with the Hospice nurse. I went over to Tom and gave him a bunch of kisses on the forehead and cheek. That got me crying so I started to leave. The nurse asked if I was alright and I said NO! I asked her how much more time she thought Tom had and she said not long at all? Tonight, tomorrow? I am wide awake even though I'm exhausted. It's 1 am and I can't go to sleep. I keep waiting for the phone to ring but praying that it won't. I feel so alone. My son went to bed and I won't wake him. I wouldn't wake anyone at this hour. I'm listening to my music on my headphones with my phone next to my ear too. Tom's sisters have never been here this late nor have the lights been on this late. I lost my mom a year ago last month, my dad 3 years ago, my ex husband 4 years ago this month, my Uncle 3 months ago, and now my Aunt has a heart problem.She is 85. Now my best friend. And we have lost 6 people in our Mobile Home park in the past month and a half, 3 of them very good friends. I know I have to go through the stages of grief, and I know time will make things easier, but right now, I just want to cry, I want to be selfish that I'm losing my best friend, and my heart aches like it would for anyone I love and care about, friends included. Thank you for listening.
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