You know what I really hate about being lonely..when you get so desperate to hear a human voice that you call someone who you don't really even want to talk to, who doesn't even listen to you, who has nothing in common with you, who is clueless most of the time about what you are talking about anyway, but you still do it and finally give up after basically talking to yourself and hang up. Thats what happens to me when I call my sister. She is someone who actually drives me crazy in almost every way, and yet I still call her. I just need to talk to someone and keep trying. I am not talking about calling and complaining or anything like that, just calling and talking about what's going on, maybe some ideas or thoughts I want to share..even that is asking too much. She simply doesn't pay attention and all she does is talk about all the worst things that can possibly happen or have happened in the world. She dwells on the negative at all times, and is joining "old ladyville" before her time. She is younger than me but acts like she is way older with all her aches and pains and attitudes...I often make a promise to myself that I will not call her..if she wants to talk to me she can call me..but then I get that restless feeling and call. GRRRRR..
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recently I've cut off some toxic friendships. They were old friends, but manipulative and unhealthy to be around. I'm glad I don't have to deal with their stuff anymore , but now I feel alone. And Idk what's worse. I'm not really an outgoing person so I don't really make friends that often. It makes me feel alone