Well, guess I should tell you where my loneliness comes from first. Well, on the last day of 9th grade, I got into a fight with my teacher. During the last semester, she's been throwing away my school work on me and tried to lie about it. She tried to tell me that I never handed in my work in the first place, yet I always did. Then 10th grade came by and I was afraid she'd try that stunt again. I decided to confront her about this, but when I tried to she literally wouldn't let me say anything. I had to bring this to my principal because I know he'd be able to do something about this. I was wrong there. He either told me to bring this issue to the teacher that was involved, or he would ignore what I said completely and talk about my absences. No-one else was there to help me so my only option was to drop out. I was out of school for about a year when my school called and asked to set up a meeting with me, my parents, my old principal, and a few principals from other nearby schools. They all said I had to go to job corp or get my GED because I was too old and didn't have enough credits to go to any other school. At the time, I didn't know where to get my GED so I was out of school for another year. This is where I am now really. I moved twice during those two years I was out of school, so I had to leave my classmates behind. I wasn't big on the whole e-mail address thing when I was in school and I didn't have any phone numbers from anyone so I was completely friendless. At first, I didn't mind because I never really thought I had friends. But that's the funny thing about being away from school for a couple years, or being away from anything for a couple years for that matter. You don't really miss anything until it's gone from your life. I managed to find some old classmates on facebook and I thought my loneliness would go away. Ironically, it had the opposite effect on me. I felt even more lonely, because now I have nothing in common with anyone now. None of my friends on facebook know where I live and I don't know where any of them live. I just wish I could hang out with them sometime, but the sad truth is that I can't. I'm just stuck with this loneliness with no way out. Two years of loneliness feels like twenty years to me, and I hate it. I feel like there's nothing I can do about this. I'm struggling so hard with this and I've come pretty far in life, even though I'm 18, but now I'm wondering if it's even worth it anymore. Having a life without friends isn't a life worth having. I don't know what I'm trying to do by writing this, so please don't ask. Feel free to comment, if you want.
Posts You May Be Interested In
A friend sent this to me..As far as I can see, grief will never truly end.It may become softer overtime, more gentleand some days will feel sharp.But grief will last as long as Love does - ForeverIt's simply the way the absence of your loved onemanifests in your heart. A deep longing accompaniedby the deepest Love some days. The heavy fog mayreturn and the next day, it may recede.Once again, it's...
Today is my 25th birthday, to my somewhat lack of surprise I can see already no one really seems to care. I've always been the kinda person to make sure that everyone I Care about feels appreciated and knew somebody had their back. I can count 4 times this year when I Went out of my way to make sure a "friend" felt good on their birthday, especially if they got left hanging. Its early in the...