My therapist helped me a lot through this stage of my life.
Feeling lonely... has nothing to do with being alone or being with someone, it has to do with feeling fulfilled. Alone is physical, lonely is mental. When your life is full of good choices, good peole, good thoughts, good deeds, work that is fulfilling, activities and interests (group or alone) - you don't feel alone or lonely. Looking to another person or persons to make you not feel lonely usually has more to do with abandonment issues then really feeling lonely.
Good Luck and God Bless.

I remember working, getting along with my co workers, friends, even my neighbors, doing good deeds - always, active in the community, did my hobbies, so those parts of life were good. I was busy, but lonely. Maybe unfulfilled is a more accurate word, though the aspects I could control, were fulfilling. ?

That's a difficult question to answer. It's hard to say because the loneliness is caused by various things just as mgs1 said. When I'm not busy I feel alone. I really can't sit home alone, I simply can't do it. Do you think that being in a relationship will make you feel better? If so why? I will admit right now and I wish I was in a relationship more than anything in the world. I think that you are in need of fulfillment, the only reason I say this is because I ask myself similar questions and ultimately come to these conclusions. Look for something you can get behind like a cause or a project and get to work on it, try to find something that you can stick with and give a steady effort at.

I am lonely in my relationship and its just something I've started facing. I love my husband so much but we really don't have much emotional intimacy. I shut my feelings down and off and he pretty much does the same to the point where we never deal with any issues until they become absoloutely out of control and force us to deal with things. I like what mgs1 said, I've never thought of loneliness like that before. I think a lot of my feelings of loneliness come from not feeling connected to anything or anyone. I find it very hard to let anyone in and most of the time I've been hiding the truth from myself as well as everyone else about what's going on in my life.

All helpful replies. So which is less desirable, being in a relationship where you "feel" lonely? Or not in a relationship, where you actually "are" alone? You are alone before you have a relationship so you take one step by becoming involved in a relationship which usually is based on attraction of some sort The attraction/relationship takes the place of loneliness and of being alone. All relationships experience troubles but many are solvable. The person that is alone (even if they say they are happy) can not have a meaningful relationship with themselves. (and yes there are people that are perfectly happy to be alone,though they are rare) They have yet to take that first step, having a relationship.
So being in a relationship and feeling lonely is less desirable, because you've had a taste of happiness and want that feeling again.

Malacon.

I have never been lonley in an relationship until now. When 2 people are sitting in a room but are doing 2 different things. One person watching TV while the other is texting people they shouldn't be texting. Not talking about issues or when you do talk they don't want to listen to your hatefull coments.( Ihave a right to have hatfull coments) Not knowing how your relationship will end up in the future. Thinking you are going to be alone without the person you married. NOT HAVING THAT LITTLE ONE IN YOUR LIFE, BECAUSE HE WAS MENT TO BE. My life is my husband, my dog, my parents and being a mother. Being a mother is gone and I can't help but think what is next to go away. I don't want to be alone. Eventhough I am lonley.

Im not sure how to answer that for me i can be in a room withn 50 people and still feel lonely and like an outcast like i will never fit in its not good that you are in a relationship and feeling so lonely but being trough what you have i think you can only expect it. big hugs darl thinking of you hang in there

I t'hink it's really important to learn how to be alone. It's a time for growing and learning about yourself. If you can actually stay alone for long enough, you come through stronger. I know I've been in relationships just to avoid being alone, and they wasted years of my life. I'm alone now, and it's painful, but I'm finding out about myself and gaining confidence. And this website provides such terrific support - if you're considering being alone, this will actually help you through it.