My life really is falling fast. My gas got shot off, only a matter of days before the dsl is shot off. I have pawned just about everything I own. Yesterday I sold my whole Nora Roberts collection(I have collected since I was 18). My landlord calls daily and just might get mad enough to kick us out. My girlfriend and I broke up but then decided to get back together. Only now I think she is just using me for a place to stay and sex. She is still not working and helping pay anything. My ex husband is threating me with taking the kids because I cant care for them and they are not happy in his eyes. I am afraid I am going to have a nervous breakdown and end up back in the psyc ward. My Bp is really bad now even with my meds I think because of all the stress. I have been feeling sick so I went to the doc. Now I am being tested for lupus, fibro miyalgia, and diabetes. He had me go into the hospital for half of day to run some tests, The results will be in a couple of days. I am just not wanting to hold on anymore. Maybe I should let him take the girls, least they will have hot water and not wonde wether they are going to have to have roman noodles everyday. School is getting ready to start soon and I don't have what they need all I have is what my ex bought when he was here. The only thing I can do is try to get help when school starts. My ex said he was not going to help me with any extra fiancial help except for child support, because I said I want to be independent and do this my self. Well I guess I cant do this !!!!!!!!!! I am losing it slowly.... I love my kids with all my heart and it's been just the three of us since my oldest was born but maybe I should just face it, I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE !!!!!!!
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