It has been a little over a month now since my life was turned upside down. At the moment I am not sure how I feel. My stbx and I talked yesterday to try to get some closure. She hasn't loved me for two years. She was going to ask me for a divorce soon and just by accident met her new boyfriend. It was not planned she assures me. She said that we have just grown apart and are no longer compatible. Each of us was trying to change the other. Since we are still young we have a chance to be happy and we should end it now. It is true that we were unhappy. It is also true that I don't love her anymore. I fell out of love with her a long time ago. So in that time we have been fighting and she treated me like crap much of the time. I know now what I am feeling is jealousy that she has moved on with someone already. Don't get me wrong, the death of my marriage is very painful, even when you don't love the other person anymore. I also got used to having someone around all the time even though we never really spoke. The fear of always being alone dominates my thoughts right now. I feel ugly and unlovable. However I am hopeful for the future. I have no way of knowing what the future holds. I just have to be the best father to my two boys that I can. Thanks everyone for your support of me during this past month.
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