Make him do the refinancing right away. By keeping anything together keeps the ties that do not need to be there.

I don't think it would even be bad to change daycares. I don't have any love left for my ex but it pisses me off when he and his girlfriend drop off my kids and I have to see the woman he left me for with a smug look on her face.

Aside from the whole gf situation which can't be fun - I have no advice on that aspect though sorry - you should insist he re-fi the house. My ex got the house in our divorce and I didn't insist he re-fi, well months after he stopped paying the mortgage I found out about it and MY credit now suffers.
Good luck to you and I think you're acting like any normal person would given the situation, don't beat yourself up about it too bad.

I am in a no win situation. If I make him re-fi now I think he would lose the house and i don't want my kids to lose their home. He has had my name on there for 2 years past the time he was supposed to remove it. I have given him grace. He will be able to refi in April w/o a penalty. I have silently been waiting for April. I'm just being childish because of the gf... thanks for your encouragement. I was feeling so bad... Another consequence of divorce huh?

I disagree with the others.

Re finance it if it is in your best interest. But make sure you keep tabs on your credit and what your name is tied to.
As far as changing daycare, do not do that either. The issue is between you and your ex. Do not uproot your kids and make them change their routine because of his Girlfriend.

If it has been two years, I get the feeling you and your ex are on semi functional ground. While it sucks his Girlfriend is in your house, you did say you are both moving on. So instead of thinking about her in your house when you see her, think of how happy you are in your new house and whoever you are dating.

You seem pretty level headed, so do what is best for you and your kids

Do you still make any mortgage payments? I'm still paying half for my co-owned house with the ex and I'm sure he has disgusting very young skanky hos over. I hate it! They are under a roof I'm financing.

It is in the best interest for the kids to not lose that house so I guess you'll just have to live with the crappy house situation until April.

Okay, I think that reaction is normal. I date, too. Do I want to know what my ex is doing? NO!!
It would still hurt, but I think I would find some comfort in knowing that whoever he dates is really in for some nasty surprises. That is why I divorced him.

Thanks... I knew I could count on some wisdom here in the DS world. I DO need to put my kids first - you are right. I should not uproot them just because what I'm seeing is hard on me; Thanks for helping me keep perspective; it seems it's easy to lose when emotions are running high. My Ex and I are friends - pretty good friends actually and I do want him to be happy. It was just a rip in my skin to see her (first time ever) and then watch her go inside. I have my kids tonight and our routine is to call the parent that does not have them so they can say goodnight. My littlest informed his Dad that "Molly was at the house when Mommy picked us up. She even went inside Dad". When I got on the phone to end the call(we do this as part of the routine as well), I choked up when this came up. Not like me. How embarassing. I couldn't keep my voice from cracking... Ugh... hormones! Anyway...

My name is on the mort because he did not re-fi when we divorced. So, technically, I am still an owner and have all the rights of an owner as far as selling the house, etc., but I do not live there, or get the tax benefits that he receives for having the property. He bought me out of my portion (small amount as not a lot of equity in the house left) -so no I do not pay on the mort. I have not been able to buy a house of my own due to my name being tied up in his large house - I live in a sm apt! Maybe that is what stings a little too... again immature and selfish on my part (not attractive in anyone). And yes, you're right: I do have someone special in my life. I should be thinking of him. Now if I could just get the trust issues solved. (Sigh...) (See the Getting in my Own Way discussion to understand). Thanks again for listening, giving input and helping me keep my thoughts straight. I appreciate it.

No I don't think it is selfish to want your own place. You'll get there soon.

I have the same problem, I can't get my own mortgage until I get out of the one with the exfiance. He just put it on the market today! I signed the papers about 4 hours ago.

We need our own homes too so we have no choice but to get this done one day.

I think you are just fine in feeling that way. I had such great memories of my house with my husband, but once he perverted my home by having sex with another woman in our bed while we were still married it ruined it for me.They are not together anymore but he still ruined it all for me. I haven't been able to really spend time in the house again. I forced him to refinance and it was actually not even my house anymore legally, but we were still married and it was "our" house. I feel your pain.