We were married 8yrs when I filed for divorce 1yr ago. Caught him havg multiple affairs "no sex" (yea right) a few yrs ago. Still stayed trying to make it work, but even w.counseling I just couldn't trust him intimately. He has tried everything to stop the divorce from finalizing. He uses holidays, bdays, kids' school functions to get close to me. I find myself being friendly w.him and then the "take me back" begging starts. He is an awesome dad, but far from it as a husband. I never stopped loving him... unfortunately my brain never stopped fearing the worst in him. How can I be his friend if he keeps trying to be more? We all have such a great time together when we're out doing "kids" stuff, then if they are occupied he will try to sneek in a hug and I have to get tough. He says I'm ruining things, but really he is... isn't he? Am I wrong for wanting to be his friend? Am I wrong for wanting all of us to still make great family memories even though we're divorced? Isn't he wrong for not wanting to be mine? For wanting more even after I've been very honest about not wanting to share that kind of life w.him... I did divorce him! It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I cried almost everyday. I left the man I dearly loved and thought would be my life partner until the day I died. I think he knows how much I love him and that's why he won't let up. I need some strength. HELP!
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