Nobody wants to be bored with the details i'm sure, but particularly hard divorce and recent news so disturbing, makes this day hit home, wondering if anyone relates to the anniversaries like i do. Thinking a lot about how things went so wrong, and even though she hurt me so bad, on this day i think of her in her wedding dress, so beautiful and full of hope and life and love. She seems like such stark contrast to what she became before she ended things. Am I the only one who hasn't pawned my wedding ring, or thrown away the loch of hair i kept in a baggy, or the pics on my laptop, or the bible engraved with our names on it. I dread this day every year and now Its here, and I'm no closer to making sense of it as the day she left. The pain has faded to a numbness, except this day, a day of mourning, but i find myself grasping to make sense of it, this day will pass, but dammit it never changes, if closure were a real thing, and i could forget this day and the vows i took and how much they meant and how much my happiness would cost me now that it's over. But that is a big if, and i don't see it ever happening. August 17 will never be the same for me, i hate this day!!
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