I'm thinking you'd get more replies in the breakups and divorce forum. Sorry for your situation. I can't say that I have any advice, I'm still dealing with things myself.

sorry to hear that i hope you find peace i am here if ya need someone to listen!

You are in a horrible situation and I really feel for you. I think you need to be brave now and keep a level head. I think its very important to understand first if there is someone else in your husbands life. I would ask that as a direct question in a way that is as unthreatening as you can make it, so you have the best chance of an honest answer or at least an opportunity to guage whether you think his reply is honest.

If you dont think there is anyone else, then it puts a different slant on things. I think its fair to say we all have moments when we think the grass is greener on the other side and we dont appreciate the value of what we have. If you think after 15 years that might be it, you really need to allow him to miss what he has with you so he can come to his own conclusions. On that basis I would not analyse your relationship in discussions with him, I would go back to first dating strategy, be nice, interesting, slightly enigmatic Move out, enjoy some of the things you can't always do with your husband. Keep dialogue open, dont tell him everything you are doing and thinking so there is a bit of mystery and wait and see what happens. It may take some time to see any change if it is going to happen. Its a tough strategy because it takes guts and leaves things open ended for you, but I think if thats the issue time apart will help crystalise his thinking before things go too far - its especially important not to say things to each other you cant "unsay".

There is another school of thought on the supportiveness. If you are sharing accommodation still and he wants you to move out, he may be behaving so he can make the move happen- texts and emails (the cowardly way of communicating) are nice and easy one you are no longer there. As it can be a challenge to move back in if things dont work out check out your legal position if you think that might be relevant before things go too far

I am so sorry you are going through this tough time, The sad thing is you can't dip out of the challenge - you are in it, nothing can change that now. But if you think there is a chance you can save things, and you still believe in the relationship, then you have nothing to lose by trying. At least you will know you did your best and have no regrets. If not, then hold your head high - you stood fast and worked hard to try and fix things between you.

Best

Happyfish

kricket I am going through the same thing I'm sorry to say.My wife said we had to separate and would consider no other option because she was just not happy anymore and tired of it. I think she is right because I was not happy either and you cannot make someone love you but it has nearly destroyed my life and I am miserable and lonely while she had already moved on and was cheating on me before I could move out. I t does no good to fight it if he does not want to work on it it is over. I wish you well and hope that you can find someone close to you to talk to because this is the hardest thing I have ever been through in my life and I am struggling also.