i don't know what to do. i feel so lost. i don't even know if i'm standing anymore. am i even human or just some monster here to hurt people? everything i try to do either crumbles before i finish, turns to shit, or just hurts everybody around. i don't feel connected to this world. any thought i have is always shoot by somebody, i never offer anything to any situation. i've never been any good at anything i've tried. i've never been able to help anybody, no matter how hard i try, not matter how simple it is. everybody just gets hurt. what am i suppose to do? i see others smile or laugh or accomplish things. why do i feel so disconnected. life should be so simple, only so much is needed to move along peacefully, but i am unable to do that. what is the point of living? to be born, to be hurt and try to live among the rumbles of what you know you could have been? all the while spreading the pain you know to everybody around you? i always thought something grander for the purpose of being here. is our purpose here to build our hell? to brick by brick build our own version of misery? i can't tell anymore. no matter how hard i try. the pain is in everything.
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