Lesbian Relationship Challenges Support Group

This community is for those who are in a gay marriage, and the unique challenges that may be had in a same-sex relationship. Find support and talk to others in a same-sex marriage, and get advice from the experiences of other members.

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/ Lesbian Relationship Challenges Support Group

words from a desperate woman

deleted_user
deleted_user
hello, i'm new to this community. litterally joined 7 minutes ago...though i should have a while ago.

so there have been recent complications in our relationship. we went through a period of just pure drama and bullshit...which colminated in a bit of a fight...though we dont really fight...we just kind of break down. we don't scream and yell at eachother. what we call "fights" are more sad than angery.
long story short, the "fight" healed us, and we called of the drama. we did NOT have makeup sex, and we have not had sex or tried to since. we tried tonight and its like we're blocked. its like we don't know what to do and i'm terrified of this going on...this "dry spell" is unhealthy and it hurts like hell.
deleted_user
deleted_user
me and my girlfriend are going through the same thing. except we get mad, not sad.... really really mad. ha. the whole dry spell thing, you should try and talk it out. when you are trying to have sex with her, what are you thinking about... if your mind is too clutter with left over emotions from the drama... it could definitely put a damper on libido. is it just you.. or is it your girlfriend, who's feeling this way... or both of you?
deleted_user
deleted_user
its both of us
deleted_user
deleted_user
we appear to have broken it. we've had better nights but that's not the point. any idea how to prevent this from happening again?
deleted_user
deleted_user
talking it out will help prevent dry spells. honestly. its embarrassing at first.. if your not into that, but it like writing a road map to sexual ecstasy.discuss what you like, what you dont. so next time you want to have sex, you sort of follow that map, and if you happen to take a different route, the suprise is a turn on. it makes it more intimate. and it definitely help prevents dry spells, at least from my experience.
that is just a suggestion.

sometimes you have to realize that one or both of you just aren't in the mood... & thats okay. just appreciate other aspects of your relationship when ur not into "it".

and before you have sex, try to work out all of your issues with each other. if your distracted by last nights or maybe even last weeks fight, and your looking at ur girlfriend imagining what she said to you last week [which could have been emotionaly disturbing] how can you get ur head in sex? most of the time. you cant.. so yup. i hope that help you two avoid dry spells. =]

and by the way. i think i said this, but ur wrong, "sry spells" aren't unhealthy, they are just part of the challeges of a relationship. and relationships can hurt sometimes.
-jenn
deleted_user
deleted_user
thanks! yeah, willing to try anything to keep this together. and yeah...you're probably right. it just hurt a lot.
deleted_user
deleted_user
im sorry it hurts. at least the two of you are there for each other and open. thats a definite bonus.
deleted_user
deleted_user
message me if you have anymore questions. that are more detailed. lol
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