Lesbian Relationship Challenges Support Group
This community is for those who are in a gay marriage, and the unique challenges that may be had in a same-sex relationship. Find support and talk to others in a same-sex marriage, and get advice from the experiences of other members.
Ive been in a relationship for 6 1/2 years and I fear we are becoming more like friends than anything else. We have sex about once every 2-3 months, and there is very little affection left in the relationship. In no way do I want to end it, we are still very much in love. I just dont know what to do to get things back to a state of affection and, well, to be cheesy, romance. I lay awake at night thinking about all these "what-ifs" involving relationships in my past. I feel so much guilt for even thinking these thoughts that I usually just end up crying and beating myself up. My girlfriend is totally committed to the relationship, but it just feels like were best friends at this point. I dont know what to do anymore.
deleted_user
I'm sorry that I don't have any advice to offer--I can only say that I think I know exactly what you're talking about. One thing that I always remind myself of--and this is cheesy--is that common picture of an 80 year old hetero couple who always say the same thing: "s/he's my best friend." They never say, "it's so romantic" or, "we've never lost our passion." That ebbs and flows in any relationship...if what's left during the ebb (or the flow. Shoot! Whichever one means the time when there's not much sex/passion) is deep friendship, well, maybe you're actually doing pretty well. You think?
deleted_user
this might not be effective but i thought i would throw it out there.. maybe to give your relationship a boost you could start putting forth a lot of effort. i mean a lot. go overboard with a romantic night each week. decorate the room before she comes home. maybe initiate sex (or try to) once a week and see what kind of vibe she gives you. even little things like kissing her repeatedly during commercials or just having your hands on her could make her reciprocate. if youre into it chances are it will make her more into it. and if all else fails address the issue of the slump. maybe she feels it too and you guys could come up with new inventive ways to appreciate each other together.
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