Lesbian Relationship Challenges Support Group
This community is for those who are in a gay marriage, and the unique challenges that may be had in a same-sex relationship. Find support and talk to others in a same-sex marriage, and get advice from the experiences of other members.
I've been w/my gf a lil over 6months. I was w/a woman for 6yrs. before, but this one's different. I never talked bout havin a family w/my ex, or felt like we'd be 2gether 4ever. I just always had a feelin it wouldn't last. I never came out while I was with her & even started datin men after we broke up. My current gf has changed me. Within weeks of datin....I came out to my family & friends. It was rough, but I didn't wana hide anymore. She makes me feel like no 1 else ever has! She's fantastic! I feel like I've found my LIFE partner. I have no kids, & have waited 4 the "right" 1 to come along before I do so. I feel she's the 1. The PROBLEM(S) are her kids. They're so jealous! They don't want us 2 have a baby 2gether. Now my gf has mentioned that maybe we should wait till the youngest turns at least 18 b4 having a baby! Does she understand how much that hurts me?! I want 2 wait a couple of yrs reguardless, but that's SEVEN yrs! I'm an adult....should I not hold a right 2 plan 4 a child without havin 2 put everythin on hold cuz she wants to stay "the baby of the family"?! It makes me feel like I'm supposed to help take care of her kids & be happy with that & not worry bout wantin to have 1 of my own. Do I make any sense here? I take care of them as if they were my own, but they are disrespectful, break things, steal things...MY THINGS, some of which I still haven't gotten back! They make me feel like a jack ass for even trying to be good to them. I just found out a shirt of mine is missing now, and what urks me the most is there's nothing I can do about it!!!! They just say they don't know anything bout it & hide it at a friend's house or something! I only get to see my gf & the kids on wkends....we are not financially stable enough right now to make a move 2gether. We always have plans w/the kids & take them places, etc....but I can't even hug my gf without the youngest (11yrs) pullin us apart, yellin, gettin in our faces. We can't even walk next 2 each other in public....the child literally walks on my heels....PHYSICALLY STEPPING ON THE BACKS OF MY FEET & clings to my arm 2 keep me from being next 2 her mother. I LOVE my gf, but this has got 2 stop! SOMEONE.....ANYONE PLEASE, I AM BEGGING YOU.....TELL ME HOW TO HANDLE THIS!
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
nightimes they wouldn't go to bed unless i stayed with them in their room then some nights they would be playing up till 5am.it all got too much and my depression hit rock bottom.
then to cut a long story short a biased social worker was involved because of their refusal for school etc and she tricked me into making me take them to my ex husband "for a short break".
they never came back because she and my husband worked on their minds so much against me and my new partner.then one day i get a phone call from her my sons would come back if my partner was no longer part of my life in other words dump my g/f.it was emotional blackmail.there was no way i would had been able to have any kinda relationship with anyone cos they would do the same everytime.don't get me wrong i love my kids but i wanted them to make there own decision to come back not one that had been put in their heads by my ex and the social worker.
they never did come back.it took 6 months for my middle son to start talking again.the youngest just about talks to me but he is no longer my little boy like he use to be he is so distant.
6 years down the line i am still having trouble with the middle one who is 19.although he doesn't now break things ,steal things etc he still tries to do as he wants when he visits.he and my g/f just don't get on.
i understand you wanting a baby,my sons wouldn't accept it either but after a couple of years of being without them my g/f had to have tests done and found she was infertile and our health service won't provide ivf cos we same sex couple.ok i didn't want us to have a baby cos to be honest i wouldn't call our relationship stable all the time but i knew how much my g/f longed for a child.
it is very hard for kids to accept another child in the family.but they should learn the golden rule of sharing.
my kids was beyond laying down of rules so i can only advise here.
but i would do anything for my g/f and if i had the money i would pay to go private for ivf.
it is very difficult for your g/f .do the children ever stay with their father to give you time alone?
your not even living together yet have you thought what life would be like actually living together.does your g/f take any steps to stop any of their behaviour.it's hard i know i've been there it's like g/f vs the kids.kids are great at laying on the guilt trips aswell.and the jealousy that comes with it.
as my g/f use to tell me when my kids was with us"you are the adult not them" .the best person to talk to is my g/f who is still at work at the moment she was the one in your position if it's ok i will add u to our friends list(we share our journal)and she will message u when we see u online.
until then stay strong.
I gave up. My gf didn't like the fact that I was leaving the relationship. She felt she should live her life how she wanted too, she was not going to let her child dictate her life. Ok, thats good and all, but its my choice to make. I will not let her put me before her child/children. I just couldn't do it.
I mostly did it because I had lost my child to death, so I had strong feeling about children. Your children are your pride and joy, the center of most of your world. But hey, that just me.
Beside you have only been in the relationship 6 months, it just not worth the heart ache in the long run. You are young don't be ready to settle for the next woman that comes along. Give yourself some time to explore after being in a relationship for 6 years.
Think about?