Lesbian Relationship Challenges Support Group
This community is for those who are in a gay marriage, and the unique challenges that may be had in a same-sex relationship. Find support and talk to others in a same-sex marriage, and get advice from the experiences of other members.
Warning: May include some facts you never wanted to know about me
Okay, i need some help but I think i need to start from the begining. Basically, when i thought i was into boys no one EVER payed any attention to me, and now that it dawned on me that boys are a waste of my time I have the most popular and even in my opinion hottest boy in school flirting with me. How is that fair? What scares me is that I like talking to him. Just when i thought I had this down pat- me being into women, another knife is thrown into my path. And now, after finally accepting myself i am questioning who I really am... AGAIN.
Let me explain two things for you. 1. That i do feel a bubble of giddeness when Mr. Popular talks to me, but i can't figure out if it's because i like talking to him and someone popular is finally paying attention to me, or is it because I am attracted to him. When I think of being with him forever and when I think of him even holding me i don't feel anything- no warm flush or fuzzy feeling. But when we are talking and he is flirting i can't help but smile.
On the other hand, So far my main attraction has been to older women. Only A. who happened to be younger has been the only person around my age that i have been attracted too. And the women i am attracted too are very specific. I hate to narrow my field, but it's honestly the type that turns me on. Powerful, dark haired and athletic build (although A. was more curvy and I was attracted to her too, but she was extreamly fit and brunette.) As much as I hate to phsyco analyse myself (this is another topic I will get too) am I simply attracted to the women i want to be? Is this whole thing about me liking older women really about me wanting to be like them. And in that case am I really a lesbian or do I just like the idea of being a lesbian? When I think of myself growing old I think of myself growing old in the arms of another women. When I think about snuggling on the couch and drinking red wine in the kitchen after a long day at work I think of HER. But if it's her i want to be with, why aren't I attracted to girls my own age? I mean i am sometimes, but usually it's so fleeting because I rule out them being gay right away- especially if they are my friends. Maybe it's because with older women there is a mystery that comes with age, and maybe there is a possibility that they are gay. Or maybe i'm just thinking about this too much! Why is it so hard to know who to like? I love the thought of growing old and making passionate love to a woman, but then why do i get that bubble of excitment when Mr. Popular talks to me?
Not to disgust anyone here, so i'm going to R rate this next little section. If there are some things you would rather not know about me skip this section
To make this horrible internal debate even messier, i never EVER think of a guy when scratching the itch, but visually a hetro relationship can do the trick. what the hell does that mean?
OKAY YOU CAN LOOK NOW
I know you guys can't tell me what to do, just like i know it would be infair to ask that question, but anyone have any words of wisdom other then "time will tell"? To be honest i'm so tired of that saying, because i'm fairly certain that Mr. Popular is going to ask me out soon and i'm far too mulled up to give him an answer, and i don't want to hurt his feelings because if anything i want to be friends with him.
Okay, i need some help but I think i need to start from the begining. Basically, when i thought i was into boys no one EVER payed any attention to me, and now that it dawned on me that boys are a waste of my time I have the most popular and even in my opinion hottest boy in school flirting with me. How is that fair? What scares me is that I like talking to him. Just when i thought I had this down pat- me being into women, another knife is thrown into my path. And now, after finally accepting myself i am questioning who I really am... AGAIN.
Let me explain two things for you. 1. That i do feel a bubble of giddeness when Mr. Popular talks to me, but i can't figure out if it's because i like talking to him and someone popular is finally paying attention to me, or is it because I am attracted to him. When I think of being with him forever and when I think of him even holding me i don't feel anything- no warm flush or fuzzy feeling. But when we are talking and he is flirting i can't help but smile.
On the other hand, So far my main attraction has been to older women. Only A. who happened to be younger has been the only person around my age that i have been attracted too. And the women i am attracted too are very specific. I hate to narrow my field, but it's honestly the type that turns me on. Powerful, dark haired and athletic build (although A. was more curvy and I was attracted to her too, but she was extreamly fit and brunette.) As much as I hate to phsyco analyse myself (this is another topic I will get too) am I simply attracted to the women i want to be? Is this whole thing about me liking older women really about me wanting to be like them. And in that case am I really a lesbian or do I just like the idea of being a lesbian? When I think of myself growing old I think of myself growing old in the arms of another women. When I think about snuggling on the couch and drinking red wine in the kitchen after a long day at work I think of HER. But if it's her i want to be with, why aren't I attracted to girls my own age? I mean i am sometimes, but usually it's so fleeting because I rule out them being gay right away- especially if they are my friends. Maybe it's because with older women there is a mystery that comes with age, and maybe there is a possibility that they are gay. Or maybe i'm just thinking about this too much! Why is it so hard to know who to like? I love the thought of growing old and making passionate love to a woman, but then why do i get that bubble of excitment when Mr. Popular talks to me?
Not to disgust anyone here, so i'm going to R rate this next little section. If there are some things you would rather not know about me skip this section
To make this horrible internal debate even messier, i never EVER think of a guy when scratching the itch, but visually a hetro relationship can do the trick. what the hell does that mean?
OKAY YOU CAN LOOK NOW
I know you guys can't tell me what to do, just like i know it would be infair to ask that question, but anyone have any words of wisdom other then "time will tell"? To be honest i'm so tired of that saying, because i'm fairly certain that Mr. Popular is going to ask me out soon and i'm far too mulled up to give him an answer, and i don't want to hurt his feelings because if anything i want to be friends with him.
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I have been here before, a long long time ago and now I am back.Forgive me for not just saying what I want to say,even under a triple dose of antidepressants it is still raw and seeping and I am hesitant at revealing it as at least under the bandages around my heart I don,t have to look at how raw and wounded.My child was cleaved from my heart by his own actions. my child of ten,turning eleven...
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theatre and I are there already. I'm having a very berry tea with crackers, cheese and cherry tomatoes and she's having a joint with some beer and we're both on really comfy recliners on thick pile carpet. we need some help with the decor if anyone is around??
I don't know your age, and wouldn't offend you with such trite comments as "you'll know with age" or such BS. However, still being in school means you're in a place for experimentation, growth and learning. Stay in touch with your feelings; act with the best intentions and enjoy yourself. I know you're tired of the 'time will tell' rhetoric, but sweeite, all we have is time. Just take it slow whatever you do so you have no regrets.