A couple weeks ago in conversation my girlfriend refered to me as her partner. Now, we've been together a year and a half and I feel like we're both seriously dedicated to the relationship and part of me could see us as lifetime partners. However, I'm 20, I'm still in college, this is my first relationship (ever), I have a half a million things I think I want to do before I'm able to "settle down", I feel like my life is not stable enough to make a commitment like that. My girlfriend is 28, she's been in a few serious relationships before. Once, at the very beginning of our dating, she told me that she was so happy I was there, that she thought she was going to be alone forever. Another time she told me she was looking for a life partner. Not saying that she thought I was it at that point, but saying that she's not just messing around. She's not someone that's content being alone. I'm ridiculously independent. I guess there's a small insecure part of me that feels like I might just be filling a gap. Don't get me wrong, I feel like we have a great relationship. It's just that in the ebs and flows of it, part of the time I can't imaging spending my life without her, and others all my plans and my independence takes over and I feel like all that might be worth trading a life with her. Anyway, we discussed the partner thing and I said she can call me whatever she wants but I don't feel like I'm in a position to honestly make a commitment like that to her now. But I feel pressured to make a decision about what I ultimatly want, which I know, and she knows, I can't do right now. I'm rambling and I've lost track of what I'm really asking here, but any input would be wonderful. Thanks for reading :)
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