
Lesbian Relationship Challenges Support Group
This community is for those who are in a gay marriage, and the unique challenges that may be had in a same-sex relationship. Find support and talk to others in a same-sex marriage, and get advice from the experiences of other members.

deleted_user
ok whats with this lesbian deathbed thing and how common is it?.my girl only after a year only started wanting to make love every 3 months.
that was 5 years ago ,it has always been a problem and caused alot of rows ,i've asked why? but don't really believe the excuses i'm getting.
ok i've always been highly sexed but here's the worst,the doc put me on hrt cos i'm premenopausal and now i'm more rampant than the rabbit and it's driving me crazy not being able to have the physical contact.helppppppppppp
that was 5 years ago ,it has always been a problem and caused alot of rows ,i've asked why? but don't really believe the excuses i'm getting.
ok i've always been highly sexed but here's the worst,the doc put me on hrt cos i'm premenopausal and now i'm more rampant than the rabbit and it's driving me crazy not being able to have the physical contact.helppppppppppp
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She may not even know why she isn't interested. Perhaps she isn't as sexual as you, perhaps she's under stress of work. Why doesn't really matter at this point. What does matter is making sure both people are having their needs met. Counseling may help if you can find a counselor that specializes in same sex couples. My partner and I went through a short period of time where we had the same issues - I wanted to be intimate several times a week, she only MAYBE one a month or every other. It was very trying. We managed to get through it and she realized that her lack of self confidence (she had gained some weight since we'd gotten together) and past issues over sex were having a negative impact on us. Now we're fine and have similar levels of desire. However, I honestly wouldn't have been able to continue like that forever. I love her but what defines us as a couple and not roommates or friends IS sex. I'm not saying I would have left her, but we would have had to structure some kind of open relationship or other solution.
I wish you luck - keep communication open!!
Here's the thing, Gozzy - you can only control you. You can't make her desire you or intimacy in general. You can only control how you respond, what steps you take for your own health and how you move forward.
Would I be presumptious if I assumed that you don't have active social lives separately from each other? We need external interactions to keep us from growing stagnant and complacent. We merge into these tight little couples that have no independence and wonder why we don't desire each other anymore - there's nothing of interest left when someone loses themselves and becomes another you. It's not selfish to work for your happiness. We have to keep moving forward as individuals as well as in our coupledom. This problem is more prevalent in same sex couples because we are seen as 'the girls', 'the ladies' ect. One isn't invited to 'Girls night' without the other. It's important to maintain autonomy. Again, just from my experience... my partner and I have been together for 9 years and this has been a hard lesson to learn!