I made the same STUPID mistake for about the 3rd time last night and even though I know my girlfriend loves me, I don't think she will put up with it anymore. She has given me chance after chance and I know I have broken her trust so many times. I don't know what to do to keep from losing her. I guess if I "really" loved her I wouldn't have done what I did in the first place. But I truly do love her. I can't see my life without her and she has been supportive of me and my "problems" for the most part. I'm really scared. We've created so many memories and shared so many experiences together and I'm just afraid of abandonment, I guess. I hate myself so much right now that I can't even see straight. Well, then, how is she supposed to love me if I hate myself? I feel like I'm a freakin' hamster stuck on a wheel, going around and around and around.
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