Lesbian Relationship Challenges Support Group
This community is for those who are in a gay marriage, and the unique challenges that may be had in a same-sex relationship. Find support and talk to others in a same-sex marriage, and get advice from the experiences of other members.
Hi everyone! I'm new here and not yet out of the closet. I've enjoyed the discussion regarding "What does it mean to be a lesbian" but I'm curious about ... "HOW" do you know you're a lesbian? I realize for myself after all of these years that I'm attracted to women... physically and emotionally. I also realize I've struggled to make relationships work with men and they never do. I've never been intimate with a woman but I believe I'm a lesbian, regardless. How do I know that if I've no experience? One person here shared with me their thoughts which were: "Being lesbian is not sexual, but the total package with intimancy as a reward and expression of ultimate love." I really like that! I suppose for some heterosexuals that would work, too... but not for me. There was one specific "moment" where I realized... that "aha" event. I was searching through my picture library on my computer which is quite extensive (I'm an artist and use graphics, etc.) It came to me that my library was full of beautiful women... no men... just women... It kind of hit me all at once and everything seemed to fall into place... My strict protestant upbringing would never have allowed me to even think this way but hey... here I am... and at 41 I really don't care... I'm so tired of living a life like others think I should.
So... I'm curious... How do you know you're a lesbian? What was that "aha moment" for you?
Angel
So... I'm curious... How do you know you're a lesbian? What was that "aha moment" for you?
Angel
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I gave my 2 week notice last Friday 13th. Now to join you fine people in a life of leisure and nothing else to do but to look out for myself....is it just me or does that sound pretty boring? My goal was to live to retire and I guess having to take early retirement because of health reasons wasn't exactly the way I had planned things. I just can't stay in that building that is reeking mildew...
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I'm trying to exercise daily. I was doing fairly well until I sprained my ankle 2 weeks ago but now I'm getting back on the horse. Today I walked over a mile with my arm weights that are about 22lbs total. I was out of shape and it was hard on my arms. I also did my 30 situps. I'm also going to drink a lot of water and try to eat healthy. I do tend to have a sweet tooth but I'm cutting...
My "aha" moment was at age 7 when I had the biggest crush on my 12 year old female neighbor. I didn't know what the word lesbian even was but I knew then it was the most normal and natural thing in the world and having a crush on a guy seemed incredibly foreign to me.
By the time I fully understood who I was I made the descision not to tell anyone unless I met someone special.
I came out to all my friends and family when I started my first relationship at 21.
I've never been in a relationship with a man,because to me it was always women that I was interseted in and wanted to be with.
I hope everything works out ok for you.
That sometimes makes it hard to know when you're a lesbian. For me it was school when all my friends had their dream hunks and I didn't - and couldn't figure out why they were so attracted to Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, George Clooney, et al. I couldn't for the life of me see it. One of my friends became sexually active and verbally descriptive. The more she talked, the more turned off I was. I tried to visualize a man on top of me and it made my skin crawl. That started my mind to asking questions and examining things.
Years later, I used a guy as camouflage. We had sex once. neither of us knew what we were doing and it was like a bowl of Cream O' Wheat - okay, but not satisfying.
I had a friend in the bipolar community, who was a lesbian and was attracted to my energy. My DS friend was the first woman to share her attraction to me.
I woke up almost instantly!
The pieces to my puzzle fell into place very quickly, as I was like a volcano needing to blow my top.
I had been single and celibate for 10 years. I was through with men.
Helloo? Anybody home?
It took me about 2 months to meet a beautiful soul on a lesbian dating site. We lived in the same state and although I was terrified I knew I had to meet her. This was after months of instant messaging and then phone calls.
I met her and practically fell into her arms! We have been happily together for 2 years now. My children love her too.
Angel
We have now been together for almost 4 years, and I have never been happier in my entire life. Suddenly, it all made sense. I connected with her in a way I had NEVER connected with a guy. She was like having my best friend sleep over every night. A playmate, a soul-mate and everything I had heard about love came into focus, and I was head-over-heels in love.
It wasn't an instantaneous aha moment....it slowly evolved. Suddenly the rest of my life made sense, and I remembered how I had had crushes on girls from the time I was in kindergarten.
Join a lesbian support group in your area. Meet some women and get out there and make friends. You never know when that special someone will appear.
As for coming out late....my friend's mother came out at 53....there is always time.