I have such contradictory feelings about being gay..they are totally different when I am in a relationship vs. when I am out of a relationship.. when I am in a relationship everything is right with the world and I know loving a woman is just what I need and want to do. when I am out of a relationship. all the self doubts come back and all the rejection, I have felt from my family., some of my friends, the church, it has never been an easy road. but I know I can't be with a man so I know I am gay despite the mixed feelings. I love women, I actually worship women so there is no doubt I am gay. but I wish the contradictory feelings would stop. just because people dont' accept me , doesn't mean that there is anthhing wrong with my choices or the fact that I love women is a bad thing.. because it isn't.. I wish I could just stop caring what other people think.. any thoughts? thanjks. warmly, karen..
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