
Lesbian Relationship Challenges Support Group
This community is for those who are in a gay marriage, and the unique challenges that may be had in a same-sex relationship. Find support and talk to others in a same-sex marriage, and get advice from the experiences of other members.

deleted_user
I am curious to hear from any of you about how you have known when you are finally done giving your partner or ex chances in the relationship.
I "chose" to allow myself to try again with my ex after dealing with her being mean and cold hearted alot and her lying repeatedly throughout the two years we were together. I broke up with her in December and she kept contacting me and asking me to forgive her and wanted to get back together. She made some promises that she knew she would never keep. It is the whole thing of someone telling you what they know you want to hear at the time. I can deal with alot of things, but her dishonesty has finally pushed me to the point where I feel I can no longer give her another chance.
Also in our relationship, she would choose to go telling our business to her family, friends, and even co-workers rather than us talk things out. That is something that also hurts alot. I feel I have tried everything possible to make things work on my part, but obviously a relationship can't work without both people making it work. So as painful as ending things with her again is, I have to...because there is actually more pain by staying in the relationship and allowing her to treat me the way she does.
When do you know when enough is enough for you? When you are done giving chances??
I "chose" to allow myself to try again with my ex after dealing with her being mean and cold hearted alot and her lying repeatedly throughout the two years we were together. I broke up with her in December and she kept contacting me and asking me to forgive her and wanted to get back together. She made some promises that she knew she would never keep. It is the whole thing of someone telling you what they know you want to hear at the time. I can deal with alot of things, but her dishonesty has finally pushed me to the point where I feel I can no longer give her another chance.
Also in our relationship, she would choose to go telling our business to her family, friends, and even co-workers rather than us talk things out. That is something that also hurts alot. I feel I have tried everything possible to make things work on my part, but obviously a relationship can't work without both people making it work. So as painful as ending things with her again is, I have to...because there is actually more pain by staying in the relationship and allowing her to treat me the way she does.
When do you know when enough is enough for you? When you are done giving chances??
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She will sweet-talk me for a few days at a time, or when she needs something or wants to get laid. Then, when she gets what she wants, she cuts me off for a few days or weeks at a time. This wasn't how our entire relationship was, it's only been this way for a couple of months now.
Once I see a pattern behavior that occurs frequently enough and is destructive to me, that's enough for me to drop it. It's hard to realize that part of the problem is that you are allowing it to happen to you, and you can therefore choose to get rid of it. But it's especially hard when it involves someone you care about, or even love....
Even though I sit here and say these things, and swear to myself that I won't let it happen again, I slip up almost every time SHE decides she wants to be involved again. It feels like she's got a power over me, and I'm helpless, even though I'm not. You just have to take things one day at a time, I guess, and try to do better. =)
A relationship without honesty and trust can't survive and can't be healthy.
You deserve better. Take care of yourself first, make yourself happy and love yourself, the rest will fall into place.
I guess it depends on the circumstances. If you truly believe that things have changed then yes they deserve a second chance. But what I have learnt is that people don't change quickly.
Break ups are hard, but there is a reason it didn't work out the first time.
Its all about taking care of yourself.
Take care
xox