
Lesbian Relationship Challenges Support Group
This community is for those who are in a gay marriage, and the unique challenges that may be had in a same-sex relationship. Find support and talk to others in a same-sex marriage, and get advice from the experiences of other members.

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I recently as of three months ago, just ran into the love of my life after nearly 24 yrs. We live in the same town, and to say why we never seen each other, I wouldn't know.. But 24 yrs ago.. she was my first.. in a lot of different ways. And when it ended.. I did tell her i never wanted to see her again... now fast forward and she has been trying to search for me for about 5 yrs.. before that she was in a long term partnership, with probably the love of her life. And after running into each other .. were the feelings had been deep down inside of me, they resurface .. to where I feel the same .. . but with her I just can't read it... this is why I am asking for anyone advice..
After her heartfelt apology for what happening 24 before... she still kept calling ..and we would chat a lot about anything and everything... and so when i started feeling.. those old feelings... i told her... but her reply was .. she just wanted to be friends... so i know that just being friends was going to be too hard on me... so i wanted to just say bye... and everything was fine.. but she kept calling .. and so i decide ok... just be friends... keep that in your mind at all times.... the thing is ... i feel like she is sending me signals... because she will call me first thing in the morning.. last thing at night... she tells me how much she misses me... so i asked her.. if i could make love to her... and i thought that with that , it would help me get over the great never going to happen love... at first she said yes... then when i was trying to settle plans with her.. she really didn't want to. so now.. even though its love on my side.. i know that she just wants to be friends... no matter the long looks she gives me.. which i must really be wrong about.. or I never call my other friends so much ..
My question is ..maybe 24 yrs made me more unattractive to her, or maybe she just really isn't in to me like that, or could it be because she would feel like she was cheating on her long time partner.. because i want to be there for her.. as a friend.. but my heart is really starting to break.. and i just dont know what I should do.. if she keeps saying just friends.. but i want more ... that doesnt make me a good friend.. please any advice is wanted because .. i seriously cant talk to anyone else about this.. no one would really understand...
After her heartfelt apology for what happening 24 before... she still kept calling ..and we would chat a lot about anything and everything... and so when i started feeling.. those old feelings... i told her... but her reply was .. she just wanted to be friends... so i know that just being friends was going to be too hard on me... so i wanted to just say bye... and everything was fine.. but she kept calling .. and so i decide ok... just be friends... keep that in your mind at all times.... the thing is ... i feel like she is sending me signals... because she will call me first thing in the morning.. last thing at night... she tells me how much she misses me... so i asked her.. if i could make love to her... and i thought that with that , it would help me get over the great never going to happen love... at first she said yes... then when i was trying to settle plans with her.. she really didn't want to. so now.. even though its love on my side.. i know that she just wants to be friends... no matter the long looks she gives me.. which i must really be wrong about.. or I never call my other friends so much ..
My question is ..maybe 24 yrs made me more unattractive to her, or maybe she just really isn't in to me like that, or could it be because she would feel like she was cheating on her long time partner.. because i want to be there for her.. as a friend.. but my heart is really starting to break.. and i just dont know what I should do.. if she keeps saying just friends.. but i want more ... that doesnt make me a good friend.. please any advice is wanted because .. i seriously cant talk to anyone else about this.. no one would really understand...
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You have been so cautious and so strong so far in all of this. I know it must be hard. You have a right to know what she is thinking. Hang in there...I don't blame you for feeling the way you do, I know it's hard and painful.
As for the love of her life , she was with her until her death in 2001.
After reading all the replies, I do know that I have to talk with her.. but I also know that in my heart , that I will not be able to stay in her life as just a friend.. but i thank each and every one of you that responded .. because by listening ... you really helped..