A Blonde woman was speeding down the road and was pulled over by a police officer, also a blonde
The police officer asked the driver for her license. What does it look like? said the driver as she looked through her purse.
The policewoman said "It's square and has your picture on it." The driver found a square mirror and handed it to the policewoman and said "Here it is".
The blonde officer looked at it and handed it back saying, "OK you can go, I didn't realize you were a cop"
Two Priests are walking down the street when a drunk man comes up to them. He says, to the first Priest," I'm Jesus Christ." The Priest replys," No son, you're not!" So he says to the second,"I'm Jesus Christ." He says,"No, son, you're not." The drunk says," Look I can prove it." He takes the two Preists into the bar.The bartender takes one look at the drunk and says," JESUS CHRIST YOU'RE HERE...
At big event this guy is carrying two plates of food from the buffet- one for his girl-friend and one for himself. As they enter the large hall to sit at a long table, everyone looks up and starts moving their chairs to make room for the couple to sit. At the same time the girl says, "Honey, give me the keys to the car, I need to get something." He looks at the plates in his hands and says,...