2008 was a hard time for me. 2 shoulder surgeries, little work, no relationship, alone... My spiritual part of my life stagnated, life stood still as time went by... 2009 continues though a possible relationship mingles, work seems a little more promising, my spirituality reaches over another bump in the roa, as water finds its way around rocks in the river of life. My inner fears that I tell no one, except maybe you... Is, am I worthy, will the panic come out again, in another relationship, am I destined to a single life??? I contemplate at night to find the anwsers, flashes of past lives go past me, reminding me that karma is better to pay off and be done with, to let it go. Though knowing what to let go of is sometimes harder to realize. My tango is my release, closing my eyes, feeling the music, my partner, the lead, the follow, becoming one. My place is my santuray, my cave, my place of safety, alone, away from others. Will I ever be sane? Can I ever share my life with another? What is life teaching me?
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