I joined the group tonight because I know I have a problem and trying to figure out how to get it under control. I know it’s wrong andthe humiliation if I’m caught but still do it anyway. I think about all the ways they gotten better of catching people stealing and watched even happening but still do it anyway. Inside it like I think I’m smarter and don’t fit the profile of the average shoplifters that’s the insanity because in reality I know I’m not smarter and they have teams who focus on this! I also know even if get away with they can review the tape and and recognized me the next time. I’m dont steal just one or two I load my cart do self checkout at Walmart and ring up only partial. Kohls is my true addiction as I can get away with so many items and done it for years now at the same store. I also take reusable bags to the grocery store and fill 3-4 up in back of the cart and then put ring up ones in front of them. I go period where don’t do it and fight urge and stay home and send others to the store but then my aniexty kicks in and go online and shop and spend money we don’t have. I need help bad but have new Insurance that I have $50 copay on therapy with only paying 80%!
Well tonight I had shit scared out of me! Right before I left to go shopping I read an article about the new cameras and watch video how they have overhead cameras etc so told myself don’t even try it. As shop it started with few small things in the front of the cart putting behind my purse or my purse on top of things. Then wonder over to Christmas side and my creative craft side decide wanted to “buy” a few items to make patterns with decor inside as I start deciding I was adding in my head knowing I really can’t afford the things I want to have so separate what I can pay for and what I couldn’t By the time I was doing self check out at Walmart I had my jacket over $30 batteries $15 spin brushes $4 toothpaste and baking stuff to make cookies with Grandchildren so get done and ring up the pop I drank while shopping and ask if cashier would throw away. I ask lady to void a item. When she asked if I had ringed up the cat scratching post and told her I did and ask to see the receipt just because of the new cameras which started a domino effect cause when that wasn’t on there she started checking other items after few items she decided to call over a CSM who went item by item. I stressed anything in bags I had rung up and said a can of pinto beans wasn’t on there and I knew they were but didn’t want to argue. As they doing it the cashier realize all the items that my Jacket was laying over and she almost flipped out and said this was no accident at that point I started thinking about the process of being arrested how had no medication with me and how it’s Christmas time and how upset everyone was going to be with me. I heard the CSM and cashier talking about it and looking to see if a store mgr was coming. I told her it really was accidental and I would pay for all the items that weren’t rung up including under my jacket and CSM said if you pay for it will be your choice and it would be a good choice. So as CSM was putting my bags back in my cart which all came to $198 items that were rung up and about $57 that wasn’t the cashier put items in another cart and took them away. So stood there waiting for PO to walk up or mgr or something to walk me away when CSM said she made the decision not to call mgr and to really try to be more careful and I could leave. Then ask me if I needed a hug. I overly thank her and said try not to be upset or crying so don’t draw the attention of others. She gave me her name and said if I thought she did a good job handling the situation to call the Corp office and give her info she wrote down and let them know how well she handle the situation. I walked away shaking waiting any min for someone to come get me. I sat in my car for couple min and then decided I needed to leave immediately!!!! I drove to nearest qwiktrip and bought pack of Crig and lighter and smoke my first Crig in over 15 yrs since I quit
I'm having a bad day, very sick, can't get out of bed. Just tried to eat, it's not going to end well lol. And today, although it seems petty and vain, I am lamenting the loss of my looks...I'm in bed scrolling through pics waiting for the next wave of stomach pain and cramps and I look at myself from 6 months ago and the change is so drastic. I've been quite ill for about a year but was...
does any one now some coping methods and stuff!!!:b