I swear I feel like I'm totally losing it. I have enough issues with jealousy and insecurity on a normal daily basis but for the past week I've been more anxious than usual. I don't know if it's my new med or the moon phase or what, but I'm like hyper-alert to any changes in my husband's mood, activity, etc. - and everything even remotely different from the norm is setting off red flags in my head. If I look at it rationally, I don't think he's up to anything - I have even expressed my concerns to him and he swears nothing's up. But I get so f'n emotionally riled up about every little thing that could even potentially indicate that he's seeing someone else or looking for someone else, then I lose it and start acting out. I go back and forth between being pissed at him, and being pissed at myself - but the more I try to control myself, the more out of control I feel. I'm so frustrated - I'm afraid that even if he isn't doing all the things I imagine him doing, that my behavior will push him to the point where he does. Even that isn't enough to make me find a way to be able to maintain control of my emotions. Argh!!! This sucks!!!!!!!!
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