Jealousy Support Group

Jealousy typically refers to the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that occur when a person believes a valued relationship is being threatened by a rival. This rival may or may not know that he or she is perceived as a threat. If you or a loved one may have an issue with jealousy, this community is a good place to start exploring the issue and get support. We're here for...

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I'm too insecure

deleted_user
deleted_user
Okay, iv been with my boyfriend for 11months and we're okay i guess but I have major major insecurity problems. Iv noticed them but he hasn't. When i ask for some reassurance from him because I'm feeling like complete shit and i hate everything about the way i look and am i and i think he can do so much better than me he gets angry with me and says I'm starting arguments when all i really want is some love.

Iv always been insecure but i now think i need professional help. me and him have broken up before because this girl told me he kissed her and i believed her because (okay its a long story) but the day when he told me she tried to kiss him he told me a completely different story (where it was, who was there, time etc) and then the next day he told me a different story that i was supposed to believe was the truth when he had told me that the one before was the truth. (sorry if its confusing). but anyway i took him back because i believed him. and now I'm worse than ever. he also lies all the time, like little fibs and white lies about everything.

If we're watching TV and a half naked girl comes on i'll just sit there motionless and think 'shit, shit, shit, shit, i want to look like that i want to look like that'. I know he would prefer a skinny girl and there is no way i can be skinny thanks to my genes.. i mean iv got lumps and bumps but i look okay sometimes, im 5ft 4 and 10stone. but when I get changed or he sees me naked i just blank it all out. he says he loves me and what i look like but i cant see how. I never look in the mirror because it always ends badly.

but i really need some help, how can i get the message across to him that i need help from him too. Iv found a website that i want to show to him but i just think he'll think I'm being stupid. Iv sat in the bath crying and I'm constantly upset because i just want to look like someone else.

I really really need some help so if anyone has anything it'll be so appreciated. thank you x
deleted_user
deleted_user
I know how hard it is being insecure in a relationship, but you sound very intelligent and I'm sure you're just as beautiful. Don't be so hard on yourself! Believe me, I know how hard it is to NOT be hard on yourself, but you deserve a break.

Also, if you think/know he's lying to you, talk to him about it. It almost sounds like you'd be better off without him. If I misread your post, I apologize, but it seems you could do better. I hope everything works out for, keep us posted.
deleted_user
deleted_user
What a terrible name for yourself, first off. Yes, I would say you are insecure love. Be nicer to yourself. Geez. It can't be that bad. How is someone else supposed to love you if you can't love yourself? Think about it. Take some assertiveness classes, boost your confidence and self esteem. Get a new haircut and outfit. Pamper yourself. Then come back to DS and change your screen name to something more flattering. Forget the boyfriend...You have some issues that need to come into focus first. Can deal with him later. Don't use guys as a way to fill the empty loneliness inside and the only means of having self worth. That's an endless addiction that goes no where fast. Fix you first, dating comes later.
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