I can't go to counseling or whatever if my husband is going to be home. I know he will watch porn so I would rather stay home than go. He doesn't know this yet and he will be extreamly upset when I tell him I'm not going anymore. He wants me to get better but oh well. I am going crazy. My appointment is on Wednesday and he keeps reminding me about it and my heart keep beating fast and tighting up and my thoughts are racing. This wednesday is my first initial appointment with my doctor and it's supposed to be more than an hour and a half. Fuck that!
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