To tell or not tell...We are still working on this part. First, we will definitely talk about it with our (future) child as they grow up. We want it to be something they feel they always knew. I respect those who choose not to tell, but this is what feels right to us. We still need to learn how to go about this at different age development stages. As far as family and friends, we decided to wait until or close to time of delivery. Our first DE cycle ended with m/c and we want to get through the pregnancy before we discuss this with everyone. At least this is our current point of view on some of the issues involved. We will start choosing another donor in about a month. Have you chose your donor yet?
Hug to all:) Clynne

When I first learned that I had to use a donor to become pregnant I was devastated. I was against doing IVF until I met with the RE...I felt comfortable with the decision to proceed once she talked to us. One thing she discussed with us was who to tell & who not to tell.

From the beginning we decided we would tell our child(ren) that we loved them so much that we did everything possible to have them in our lives (age appropriate of course). Our RE even talked about how with the increase in donor eggs/sperm the risk of biological children meeting increases also. A true story...two young adults (man & woman) meet & fall in love...they build a relationship & decide to marry...they can be biologically related if both came from donors...never knowing it. Our RE said this has happened before...honestly...could you think of the consequences if they proceeded with a marriage?!?! I want my child(ren) to have all of the information.

I have been honest with pretty much everyone. I am not ashamed of using a donor...no matter what they will be my children. Obviously I hadn't intended on telling so many people, but after losing two babies now after two cycles (one IVF & FET) it really didn't seem to matter anymore. They could not be loved anymore if they were my own biologically....they are MY angels!!!! Every person feels differently about this decision. Maybe it is because of how close my family is...I don't know, but either way it boils down to how comfortable you feel with how others are going to feel about your choice to use donor eggs. Give it a lot of thought...do what YOU feel is right for you!!!

Good luck!!!

The issue to tell is different for everyone, our close friends and most of our family are aware. This PG isn't different to me just because we had a little help. We will of coarse tell our child when appropriate but it just depends on your relationships with family and friends who know and who doesn't. Feel free to contact me with questions.

Dawn

I too am going through the DE route. I am 2 weeks into my cycle. I have on the injections. Yeah, how fun are those. Has anyone had any side effects from the Lupron?
It is nice that a group was started for people that are doing the DE.

Welcome Lauren032, glad to have another member with us:). I did not have any side affects from Lupron. It did not bother me at all. I hope you are the same. Keep us updated. Strong sticky babydust for your upcoming cycle.
Hug, Clynne

I just wanted to say Thanks to all of you that responded with your ideas. It was good to get some perspective. We're still trying to keep it on the "down-low", but I am not as attached to it being 100% not known, now. My main concern if for the childs best interest. I don't want him/her to ever feel "divided" about where his/her parental loyalty should fall. Particularly for us, where the donor is known and a close personal friend of ours. Assuming that this friend that is donating for us will still be in our lives as the child grows up-it could make things a little complicated. For me, I think I have to remember to let it be in God's hands. Thanks again...

I started my lupron shots last night. i haven't ever had any side effects from it except maybe fatigue but i think that is from all the meds combined with the stress.