I'm in the middle of a flare that brought me to tears last night. I am supposed to be going to orientation for my new job today but I have to take the bux/max for an hour and a half to get there and then sit for four hours and take the bus for an hour back to continue orientation at a different location for about four more hours and then take the bus for an hour home. I don't know how I can do that feeling like I do now. I would normally grit my teeth and go or take some meds and go, but I'm pregnant now and when I woke up this morning it just didn't seem right to overextend myself so that I make the pain worse potentially causing me to take additional meds which are not 100% great for my baby. I feel like a failure for not being able to "handle the pain" or "suck it up" and go to my orientation, but I can only imagine how I would feel if something happened to my baby because I didn't take care of my body. The job is a wonderful opportunity and I don't know how they are going to take this. I don't know how I will be able to deal with my IC and work. I am supposed to be getting insurance through my fiance's new job real soon, but do not have it yet. At that time I plan on talking to a doctor about returning to Elmiron and the effects of percocet (the only thing that has effectivly taken away the pain during a flare) while I'm pregnant. But until I can do that all I can think to do is to sit with an ice pack or in the bath to try to relieve some of the pain and take stress off of my body. Am I doing the right thing or am I just being weak right now?
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