Interracial Relationships Support Group

This community is dedicated to the challenges presented when two people of different religious backgrounds form a relationship. Mingling different religions has both positive and potentially challenging aspects, including the religious preferences of children, religious holidays and traditions, schools and religious education and potentially different moral or ethical...

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/ Interracial Relationships Support Group

Is racism just in the South.

deleted_user
deleted_user
My husband and I are isolated alot because we are a mixed couple. Is there anywhere we would be accepted. I mean I like it here but we get the glares and the people whispering and no we are not paranoid. People say rude things all the time forgetting sometime that my husband is standing right there. I mean the black women, not all are hostile toward me sometime, and the white rednecks give us real disapproving looks and hateful disgusting looks, and old people look scared when they see my husband. I have lost several jobs in the 5 years we have been together under mysterious circumstances or I get less hours. Before we dated I worked full time and could keep a job but as soon as they found out I was with someone dark skinned they really changed toward me alot. I went to a predominantly African American church with my husband and believe me I was treated like crap. Now we go to a predominantly caucasian church and the people there are more accepting because they are considered a liberal church, but the only people that have ever invited us over in the two years we have been there is an African American couple who are just wonderful and a man from South Africa and his caucasian wife and a white guy brought us out to eat a couple times. I mean we have very few friends.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I don't believe racism just exists in the South, but you certainly hear about it more. And my wife and I can certainly relate. My wife is caucasian and I am African-American. We've been married for three years now, and still get those looks, especially from African-American women. It was worse when we were dating. We know a lot of interracial couples who are also married and have children, too. And we have a number of friends who support us. And our families have no problems with us.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Well I hope you and your wife just stay strong and ignore those people who give you the looks. Good Luck :)
deleted_user
deleted_user
I live up North and I believe it is definately accepted more here than in the South! It still exists. I went on vacation last summer in the South with my family and needless to say some places we went the people made us very uncomfortable! Unfortunately Racism will always exist!
bluesun
bluesun
When my mom moved me to PA I saw lots of racism there. I hated it there and I was picked on for having really tan skin. they didn't know what race I was so they called me every racial slur in the book!
That's one thing I like about living here in Hawaii, I never gotta worry about crap like that and i'm so sick and tired of it!! I hate racism with a passion! I don't understand it and I don't like it and I won't ever except it! There is absolutely no point in racism. I wish it would go away, it's like a cancer!
deleted_user
deleted_user
The South is the most racist part in this country than all the other states! my mom is from the South, which is really sad with their fucked up mentality and lack of common sense!

I believe the racism is more in the South than anywhere else like i said. They will never be open minded and they dont like mix racing anyway. AZ is not a fan of mix racing but i do see it a lot.
deleted_user
deleted_user
My husband is from the south but we live in Vegas where there is no prejudice. It wasn't until I went to the south that I saw the prejudice and I was SHOCKED and DISGUSTED. Move out of there sister!
deleted_user
deleted_user
There are various forms of racism, one is blatant (what you seem to be experiencing) and the other is aversive... I would say that racism has been more aversive in nature than blatant as the years have gone by but we have a lot of work to do!

The west coast is pretty nice. Sacramento , California has the highest amount of interracial couples according to a census a few years back. San Francisco is so large and diverse that interracial couples are a given, they are not seen as unusual.

Love is love. You're so strong!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I am glad everyone has jumped in and given me there opinion on this it has helped alot :)
deleted_user
deleted_user
i know exactly how you feel, minus the job part...i have never had any probs w/ my jobs..me & my husband have been together for 10 yrs & have 3 children...i am a very pale blonde & he is very very dark so our children are very dark...we have a very small social circle by choice...i think as long as you have one another & are in love...let them look & talk...i'm use to it..we live in green bay & anywhere we go we get looks. other people's ignorance no longer bothers me & my husband seems to enjoy the stares....
deleted_user
deleted_user
I am always proud to be a mixed couple. I love mixed couples that have had children together...I see that as the solution to racisim in many thousands of years from now if the world is still here! I was done having children when my current relationship began.
deleted_user
deleted_user
yeah i believe people should get with who they fall in love with :)
deleted_user
deleted_user
You should come out to the west coast! I live in OC (southern california) and mixed couples are soo not a big thing here. It still exists, but not too many people seem to think twice about it. If you'd like some place tropical, Hawaii has even more mixed couples. Mixed couples/kids are the norm there. People are surprised when they find out someone is full white or full asian there. Its such a bummer people give you a hard time. Hang in there though!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Yeah I noticed in the south they do stare. Me and my hubby walked into a restaurant. People laid there forks down and looked up and watched us walk to our table. I wanted to be like BOO! Come to Mich, We are more friendly up here.
deleted_user
deleted_user
oh all of u thanks for understanding, it makes me feel better, Cali and Detroit here i come :)
GeorgiaW
GeorgiaW
It is a very sad commentary on the human race but racism is pretty much universal and all colors and ethnic groups are guilty of it in one form or another, at least some of each group has their ax to grind.
I think historicaly this has been because race is such an easy tool to use to divert peoples attention away from how the powers that be are screwing them over, just blame someone who's different, who looks different, talks different etc. Of course race is not the one bow in this arsenal those intent on hating always find something even if it's as stupid as how you wear your hair or how much you weigh.
That being said there are some areas where mixed couples do not seem to get as much static as in others. The larger cities in the pacific northwest are usualy more color blind, when I was dating I went out with a rainbow of men and never had ugly comments directed at me and have had many friends in mixed couples, also family, and we rarely have problems wiht idiots.
It is a shame you have not been able to create a group of friends who are accepting and supportive. You'd think your church would be the first place where people would realize your all the same under that thin laywer of skin.
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