I have been dating my fiance for four years. We have a healthy, strong relationship. The problem is when his parents come to visit from their country which is in the middle east. They have been open and very accepting that I am american. They have opened their arms to me and want to get to know me as best as they can. The problem is when they visit they show up unexpectantly and we never know when they'll leave...my finace feels if he askes them then they will feel unwelcome because by asking that will mean to them he wants them to go home. They stay with him and there are no boundaries. It really takes a toll on our relationship. I know they eventually will leave but its so hard while they are here. So far this time its been three months. They will eventally get their own place here so they will split up their time. I am trying to practice acceptance but it is so hard. I will never leave him because of this but I don't know how to deal with them. My time with my him is few and far between because he doesn't want to have any regrets by not spending enough time with his aging parents. He came here for college and never went back so he feels alot of guilt. Even though they accept me that have asked him what their role will be many times when we get married. They don't want to be pushed out of his life which is what they fear....they fear he won't love them as much which to me as crazy. I think much of the time they spend together is unhealthy and abnormal. In these few months he hasn't even seen his friends often. I know things will change when they go back home but I worry about our future. Even though I tell him its abnormal he says its abnormal to me who's grown up in the U.S but for them the closeness of the family is normal. How can I continue to practice acceptnace and deal with these people who will be my inlaws? I love him so much.
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