I have been married to my lovely wife for almost ten years, and just before our tenth wedding anniversary, i decided that some strange old hag in a bar would be so much better than having sex with my wife! what an idiot! Hence the username. i was extremely drunk, depressed, felt like my wife didnt really love me any more. which she actually did, and i didnt realize that. i was severly depressed from the loss of my farm. i farmed for 8 years and it had been the only thing i ever wanted to do since i was 2 yrs old. Is what was worse was the other woman was ten years older than me, not attractive at all, and THE worst sex i ever had. and still i decided to have sex with her. I am an idiot. now all the hurt and pain i have caused my family must be dealt with. i know im the one responsible for her and my childrens pain and i want to fix this immense screw up. and if that is not all bad enough we recently lost our eldest son, the true ray of light in my life that has always brought me happiness even when he was being difficult and now matter how shitty a day i had, his smile always melted the pain away and now i dont have him anymore and i am at a loss what to do. please offer advice how to get over and help her get over what i have done.
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